Sooo.. another year has passed. Did you achieve what you wanted? Was 2012 a year to smile about or one you'd rather forget? For most people, including me, I'm sure it was a mix, highs and lows, things to remember, things we'd rather forget!
This time of year brings with it a certain magical feeling, a sense that anything is possible. We begin planning all the great things we're going to do, all the amazing changes we are going to see, and the coming year is going to be THE year. And diaries! Does anyone else get REALLY stupidly excited about having a new diary? I do.. all those pages, empty and ready to be filled.. and you use your neatest handwriting, and the same colour pen everyday.. that is, until you get to late February/March when it all goes to pot and you scribble your shopping list and everything in it.
I try really hard not to make new years resolutions. Simply because I go over the top and plan a whole life change basically starting one day to another. Then I inevitably fail and end up feeling awful and dejected. Sooooo, lets do some SMART goals!!
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time Based
Just kidding. That popped in my head because Ive been on 3 courses recently that all had a section on goal setting. I'm fed up of it now! And... British Triathlon actually make it even more fun, because they make it not just SMART, but SMARTER!
Exciting
Recordable
Woo hoo! But, I digress. Yes, resolutions. Number 1 for most people has to be the diet. Slimming clubs, gyms, and fitness classes make a fortune at this time of year. But now is the worst time ever to do it! The resolution 'I will eat more healthily in the new year' actually translates as 'I will eat a lot more crap leading up to new year'. It's one I'd always set. Every December I would decide that January 1st is the day I'm going to stop all sugar, all junk, I will read all labels and not have processed anything, and I will therefore magically transform into an enlightened dietary guru. No wonder I would fail and end up in Dominos by January 8th.
So this year I'm not setting anything. I have plans, things I want to achieve and work towards, but now I realise it is a work in progress, everyday, and I don't expect a personality change from tonight to tomorrow morning.
I feel rather fortunate that I actually enjoy exercise and sport, and don't have to go through the whole 'I will do more exercise' resolution. I do feel sorry for people who have to drag themselves to the gym or a fitness class, just for the sake of it, because they feel they should. They hate every minute of it! And we regular goers have to put up with a January influx of people getting in our way because they said they were going for a 3 hour walk on the treadmill or are chatting to their mates right at the front of the water machine. Until a few weeks later when they gave in to temptation and have a bakewell tart and think now the whole health kick is ruined so they may as well go back to watching tv and buying full fat coke. And inside a little voice is screaming, 'yay, I never liked that diet shit anyway!'
The leisure industries are then rubbing their hands in glee, because that £60 a month gym contract for the next year will only be used when the person pops in for a shower because their heating is broken.
I always tell my friends (who are not sporty at ALL) to find something they enjoy. There no point playing tennis if you get angry and upset because you can't hit the ball. You won't go back. There's no point swimming if you don't like to smell of chlorine and have dry hair. Find something you enjoy, click with, and then do that!
I once read a quote that said 'Go and find what makes you come alive, and then go and do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive'.
So as we leave 2012 and a year of sporting excellence and inspiration, go grab that feeling that bubbles up when you run, ride, swim, play tennis, dance, use the treadmill, or drink full fat coke. Whatever floats your boat.
A happy, healthy, and prosperous new year to you all.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Sunday, 2 December 2012
If Carlsberg Made Triathlon Clubs......
So last night, nicely rounding off another year were the Absolute Tri Club awards.
Absolute is a Nottingham based club, and open to all.
I came to triathlon from martial arts, because I wanted a change. I had become disillusioned with my routine, I was fed up of repetition, and was looking for a challenge. I was actually in WHSmith one day, looking for a magazine, and saw triathlon plus. I'd never heard of it, had no idea what it was. I picked up the magazine and leafed through it, which was followed by, 'Jesus, these people are insane! Who the hell would want to do that?!' I put it back and bought something ridiculous like 'card crafting' and went on with my day. Yet my mind kept wandering back..... WOULD it be possible? COULD I contemplate trying this triathlon malarkey when I hadn't swum, cycled or run since school?
On my way home I bought the magazine. The rest, to quote a famous line, is history.
After reading through I looked up a club in Nottingham. It actually took around 6 months of procrastinating, looking at the website, and writing 'go to new tri club' in my diary before I actually got there. I eventually went to a ladies only swim that was being aimed at beginners. Walking out onto that poolside I was crapping myself! I mean, I'm very shy anyway, so being shy, not really swimming unless water slides on holidays count and feeling completely out of my depth being at an actual club, it was all quite an overwhelming experience! I got in and could barely do 2 lengths. And my technique was basically around not drowning. I got out absolutely knackered that day and wondered what I was playing at. But, I'm lucky enough to have been blessed with a don't quit mentality. I become very stubborn, and very determined that I won't be beaten. In this case it was about swimming properly. So even though I felt silly for being there, thought everyone was looking at me, all the usual fears, I kept going back. Each week the coaches pushed me a bit more, and a bit harder. Sometimes I really just wanted to just give up and go back to my comfort zone and what I knew.
It all started to pay off though... I remember clearly when I got moved up a lane. I was so excited that I went and told everyone I could the next day!
I did my first sprint with hardly any proper training. I think it was just around my base fitness that I already had. I'd done hardly any cycling, or running. I had no idea what I was doing, I even glugged an energy gel as I was starting the 5k run, what with it being SUCH a long way... clueless. But crossing that finish line, I was grinning and raised my arms and jumped and whooped like I was winning the thing. I was on a high the whole day... I had done it!
From there I became more and more involved, I'm now a coach at the club, I organised the fabulous one of a kind club naked calendar, and have entered my first iron-distance.
I think there are many real and sometimes valid fears that tri is all for the super fit, and is elitist. Some people are. Some clubs are. But there are also many who aren't.
Absolute is one of those clubs. All are welcome, irrelevant of ability or experience. And that is why I love my club so much. I've met people who are just there to make friends and keep fit, I've met people who are aiming to finish their first Ironman, people who are going to the world championships, so many different people who have such different goals. And each person inspires me in different ways. I admire them all, from the dedication and grit needed to get to the top, to the nervous person, as I was, who takes the first step into something new and scary.
When I'm coaching and people get in the water and I say right this this and this, and I see the faces of horror and hear the protests, I smile to myself. Because I know they will do it. The same as my coaches knew I would. One of the most rewarding things for me is seeing that. The focus, the commitment, and the surprise that they've actually done it. And obviously that leads to 'what now?' (ooh, and before you know it you've entered the Outlaw Relay team!! You know who you are) ;p
Last night at the awards, the Female Triathlete Of The Year was a woman who has been in tri around 2 years, and in that time has competed and come in the top female rankings at the outlaw, and in the same year qualified for the world championships and raced for GB. The Male Triathlete Of The Year was a 60 year old man who through sheer determination and hard work, also completed the Outlaw this year.
The differences between the two are huge, but also the same. Commitment, dedication, outstanding achievements.
People are rewarded for their own goals, and sometimes it just isn't about winning or being faster than the person next to you, it's about what it has taken for you to be there, where you came from and where you're going, what you've achieved and what you personally have to be proud of, whether that's pulling on the GB kit, or running your first 5K.
I'm proud to be part of a club who recognise and encourage that. The future's bright....
Here's to 2013!!
Absolute is a Nottingham based club, and open to all.
I came to triathlon from martial arts, because I wanted a change. I had become disillusioned with my routine, I was fed up of repetition, and was looking for a challenge. I was actually in WHSmith one day, looking for a magazine, and saw triathlon plus. I'd never heard of it, had no idea what it was. I picked up the magazine and leafed through it, which was followed by, 'Jesus, these people are insane! Who the hell would want to do that?!' I put it back and bought something ridiculous like 'card crafting' and went on with my day. Yet my mind kept wandering back..... WOULD it be possible? COULD I contemplate trying this triathlon malarkey when I hadn't swum, cycled or run since school?
On my way home I bought the magazine. The rest, to quote a famous line, is history.
After reading through I looked up a club in Nottingham. It actually took around 6 months of procrastinating, looking at the website, and writing 'go to new tri club' in my diary before I actually got there. I eventually went to a ladies only swim that was being aimed at beginners. Walking out onto that poolside I was crapping myself! I mean, I'm very shy anyway, so being shy, not really swimming unless water slides on holidays count and feeling completely out of my depth being at an actual club, it was all quite an overwhelming experience! I got in and could barely do 2 lengths. And my technique was basically around not drowning. I got out absolutely knackered that day and wondered what I was playing at. But, I'm lucky enough to have been blessed with a don't quit mentality. I become very stubborn, and very determined that I won't be beaten. In this case it was about swimming properly. So even though I felt silly for being there, thought everyone was looking at me, all the usual fears, I kept going back. Each week the coaches pushed me a bit more, and a bit harder. Sometimes I really just wanted to just give up and go back to my comfort zone and what I knew.
It all started to pay off though... I remember clearly when I got moved up a lane. I was so excited that I went and told everyone I could the next day!
I did my first sprint with hardly any proper training. I think it was just around my base fitness that I already had. I'd done hardly any cycling, or running. I had no idea what I was doing, I even glugged an energy gel as I was starting the 5k run, what with it being SUCH a long way... clueless. But crossing that finish line, I was grinning and raised my arms and jumped and whooped like I was winning the thing. I was on a high the whole day... I had done it!
From there I became more and more involved, I'm now a coach at the club, I organised the fabulous one of a kind club naked calendar, and have entered my first iron-distance.
I think there are many real and sometimes valid fears that tri is all for the super fit, and is elitist. Some people are. Some clubs are. But there are also many who aren't.
Absolute is one of those clubs. All are welcome, irrelevant of ability or experience. And that is why I love my club so much. I've met people who are just there to make friends and keep fit, I've met people who are aiming to finish their first Ironman, people who are going to the world championships, so many different people who have such different goals. And each person inspires me in different ways. I admire them all, from the dedication and grit needed to get to the top, to the nervous person, as I was, who takes the first step into something new and scary.
When I'm coaching and people get in the water and I say right this this and this, and I see the faces of horror and hear the protests, I smile to myself. Because I know they will do it. The same as my coaches knew I would. One of the most rewarding things for me is seeing that. The focus, the commitment, and the surprise that they've actually done it. And obviously that leads to 'what now?' (ooh, and before you know it you've entered the Outlaw Relay team!! You know who you are) ;p
Last night at the awards, the Female Triathlete Of The Year was a woman who has been in tri around 2 years, and in that time has competed and come in the top female rankings at the outlaw, and in the same year qualified for the world championships and raced for GB. The Male Triathlete Of The Year was a 60 year old man who through sheer determination and hard work, also completed the Outlaw this year.
The differences between the two are huge, but also the same. Commitment, dedication, outstanding achievements.
People are rewarded for their own goals, and sometimes it just isn't about winning or being faster than the person next to you, it's about what it has taken for you to be there, where you came from and where you're going, what you've achieved and what you personally have to be proud of, whether that's pulling on the GB kit, or running your first 5K.
I'm proud to be part of a club who recognise and encourage that. The future's bright....
Here's to 2013!!
Monday, 15 October 2012
I Am A Survivor!!
Haven't written for a while, all has been quiet on the training front! I have been taking a break from structure and just doing things for the fun of it. In my last post I wrote that I was expecting to do my first half iron distance, the Vitruvian. Unfortunately it didn't happen, I had other commitments come up for that weekend at short notice, so had to withdraw.
Not to be put off getting something done this year, I noticed a Facebook post by a friend talking about The Viking, a mountain bike event, 30k or 50k, not far from where I live. I thought it was ideal, I really enjoy going out on my mountain bike. Note my turn of phrase there- I didn't say, 'I enjoy mountain biking'. That is because I have concluded I don't deserve that title. When I say I enjoy going out on my mountain bike, I mean I really enjoy going on the nice man made trails they have in Nottingham, jumping over roots, skidding in dust, that kind of thing..
However, the Viking was not nice man made trails. It was muddy. REALLY muddy. I don't like mud. I really get stressed when my bike gets dirty. It's some kind of OCD thing I have.What I thought it would be like in England in October I have no idea, I think I had some nice idea that it would be all dry in spite of the torrential rain we've had all ''summer''. And of course torrential rain and 1300 bikes doesn't help to settle it down much. In some parts it was impossible to ride through, I had to get off and walk. Which made my shoes and overshoes (to protect me from the mud) really muddy.
I wasn't feeling good anyway, I had gotten lost getting there, which had made me late, and now I was filthy. 3 pet hates of mine all in one morning. I was quite stroppy as I pushed my bike up a hill, slipping all over the place, and I got back on near the top. This is where I began to feel a bit pathetic, because I was actually really scared of falling off. I thought my mountain bike skills weren't bad, Im not usually a fearful person, and have ridden quite freely on rough terrain etc, but this was something different. It was like trying to ride on ice!! The back wheel was all over, side to side, and I kept unclipping and steadying with my foot, as well as throwing my weight to steady myself. It was also the first time I'd used SPD's with my mountain bike. Maybe that had something to do with it.
All around me people were bombing past, some pedalling and moving, others falling off. Which made me even more nervous. I stopped to let people go past, so I wasn't holding anyone up. A man came powering by, turned to look for his friend, and his bike slid straight out from under him, and both went flying. Unfortunately they went flying straight into my hand. I managed not to fall over, but felt a pretty sharp pain. I got out of the way quickly, and carried on.
To cut a long story short I had to stop at the next feed station and was examined by a doctor, because by that time I couldn't bend my fingers at all. He told me I couldn't continue, and arranged for me to be picked up, and I was taken to a first aid station where I sat feeling sorry for myself. They advised me to go for an X-ray, there was a nasty bruise, a lot of swelling and it was clicking, but as it was the weekend and I didn't fancy sitting in a&e with a load of drunks I gave it a miss!
So that was the end of my first ever mountain bike event!! However, that's not to say I won't be back next year... if it hasn't been raining :p
So, bearing in mind that I really dislike being muddy and wet, on Wednesday I had the bright idea to enter Survival of the fittest. Which is a very muddy and very wet assault course and run.
I was quite wary about hurting myself further, I am still suffering from injury, I now have bursititis in my left heel. So I had to be careful. Not careful enough not to enter though obviously. I haven't run for months now, never mind crawled, jumped, swung and climbed! I wrapped a support bandage around it, and was determined whatever happened I was going to finish ONE event this year!!
Some of the obstacles involved-
Climbing on/through/over cars...
....crawling through tubes.... (no idea whose backside this is by the way)
And lots more! All ensured that no strength would be left in your body at all, and you would run (or stagger) to the finish line to be faced with this monster- It looks small on this picture, but trust me it isn't! It's around 8ft tall, and has no foot holes or ropes or anything to climb up!
(probably why the man on the left is taking the easy route)
I just stood and stared at it for ages, as if a magic little fairy would pop up and lift me over it! No. 2 men grabbed my arms and pulled me, and someone else shoved my feet and I eventually got up there. Then I sat and stared down the other side.. how the hell was I meant to get down?!! I was scared of jumping and hurting my foot, but I realised I had no choice. So I went for it, and tried to land my weight onto my good side.
Wa hey, I did it, I am a survivor! I got my medal and t.shirt, and I really did feel I earned them!!
And today... ouch. Just ouch. That is the only word :D
Not to be put off getting something done this year, I noticed a Facebook post by a friend talking about The Viking, a mountain bike event, 30k or 50k, not far from where I live. I thought it was ideal, I really enjoy going out on my mountain bike. Note my turn of phrase there- I didn't say, 'I enjoy mountain biking'. That is because I have concluded I don't deserve that title. When I say I enjoy going out on my mountain bike, I mean I really enjoy going on the nice man made trails they have in Nottingham, jumping over roots, skidding in dust, that kind of thing..
However, the Viking was not nice man made trails. It was muddy. REALLY muddy. I don't like mud. I really get stressed when my bike gets dirty. It's some kind of OCD thing I have.What I thought it would be like in England in October I have no idea, I think I had some nice idea that it would be all dry in spite of the torrential rain we've had all ''summer''. And of course torrential rain and 1300 bikes doesn't help to settle it down much. In some parts it was impossible to ride through, I had to get off and walk. Which made my shoes and overshoes (to protect me from the mud) really muddy.
I wasn't feeling good anyway, I had gotten lost getting there, which had made me late, and now I was filthy. 3 pet hates of mine all in one morning. I was quite stroppy as I pushed my bike up a hill, slipping all over the place, and I got back on near the top. This is where I began to feel a bit pathetic, because I was actually really scared of falling off. I thought my mountain bike skills weren't bad, Im not usually a fearful person, and have ridden quite freely on rough terrain etc, but this was something different. It was like trying to ride on ice!! The back wheel was all over, side to side, and I kept unclipping and steadying with my foot, as well as throwing my weight to steady myself. It was also the first time I'd used SPD's with my mountain bike. Maybe that had something to do with it.
All around me people were bombing past, some pedalling and moving, others falling off. Which made me even more nervous. I stopped to let people go past, so I wasn't holding anyone up. A man came powering by, turned to look for his friend, and his bike slid straight out from under him, and both went flying. Unfortunately they went flying straight into my hand. I managed not to fall over, but felt a pretty sharp pain. I got out of the way quickly, and carried on.
To cut a long story short I had to stop at the next feed station and was examined by a doctor, because by that time I couldn't bend my fingers at all. He told me I couldn't continue, and arranged for me to be picked up, and I was taken to a first aid station where I sat feeling sorry for myself. They advised me to go for an X-ray, there was a nasty bruise, a lot of swelling and it was clicking, but as it was the weekend and I didn't fancy sitting in a&e with a load of drunks I gave it a miss!
So that was the end of my first ever mountain bike event!! However, that's not to say I won't be back next year... if it hasn't been raining :p
So, bearing in mind that I really dislike being muddy and wet, on Wednesday I had the bright idea to enter Survival of the fittest. Which is a very muddy and very wet assault course and run.
I was quite wary about hurting myself further, I am still suffering from injury, I now have bursititis in my left heel. So I had to be careful. Not careful enough not to enter though obviously. I haven't run for months now, never mind crawled, jumped, swung and climbed! I wrapped a support bandage around it, and was determined whatever happened I was going to finish ONE event this year!!
Some of the obstacles involved-
Climbing on/through/over cars...
....scrambling under nets... this was the dry one, others has thick muddy water you had no choice but to crawl in..
...LOTS of water obstacles... this was the prelude to a huge water slide which dunked you into a FREEZING cold lake...
....walking over planks in-between climbing up and over bars.... (good co ordination needed!!)
....crawling through tubes.... (no idea whose backside this is by the way)
And lots more! All ensured that no strength would be left in your body at all, and you would run (or stagger) to the finish line to be faced with this monster- It looks small on this picture, but trust me it isn't! It's around 8ft tall, and has no foot holes or ropes or anything to climb up!
(probably why the man on the left is taking the easy route)
I just stood and stared at it for ages, as if a magic little fairy would pop up and lift me over it! No. 2 men grabbed my arms and pulled me, and someone else shoved my feet and I eventually got up there. Then I sat and stared down the other side.. how the hell was I meant to get down?!! I was scared of jumping and hurting my foot, but I realised I had no choice. So I went for it, and tried to land my weight onto my good side.
And today... ouch. Just ouch. That is the only word :D
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Better Never Stops
Hope everyone has had a good summer! Olympic fever hit us hard! Union Flags everywhere, coming together as a country, what a great show it was! And even better to at LAST have some decent role models for our young girls. So many strong female athletes to look up to. Lets hope it will get rid of this ridiculous ''I want to be a wag or X factor star'' mentality.
I help out at the junior section of my club as a triathlon coach, and I'm really excited to go back in September and hopefully see some new faces who have been inspired to join after watching the phenomenal performance of the GB tri squad.
The Paralympics is now upon us.. Hopefully that will be just as supported, and just as inspiring.
I do find myself wondering why the two can't run alongside each other, make everyone a whole team? Obviously they could still compete in their classifications to make it fair, but why not together? At the moment it still seems a bit like we have the Olympics, and then ''the one for the disabled''. Watching the opening ceremony last night there were wheelchair users dancing, visually impaired people rollerskating, and Stephen Hawking doing a speech. Why couldn't we have the dancers and the rollerbladers at the main ceremony? Disability isn't completely understood by everyone, it's seen as being something different, something unusual. And to an able bodied person obviously it is unusual. We may not know how to act or what to say, fear doing the wrong thing, we avoid eye contact so not to be seen as staring. My point is that until we begin to integrate those barriers will always be there. If nobody ever sees or has contact with someone with Cerebral Palsy or paraplegia, of course it will remain a mystery, and something unusual. Popular culture features hardly anyone with a disability at all. Music, art, TV, film, modelling.. all are aimed at how we SHOULD be and SHOULD look. It excludes anyone who doesn't fit that. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I wish we didn't have to put everyone in little boxes.
Anyway! It's been a while since my last post. Since the Outlaw I have been having some down time from training. My motivation waned quite a bit, I found it very difficult to focus on the next goal and keep going, because I didn't really have one! I still felt the disappointment of not competing very strongly.
I realised I had to set another focus. I managed to get a place in the Vitruvian half iron distance. I thought with a few solid weeks I would be fine and happy with completing that, even if I had to just walk the run because of my shins.
Unfortunately, sometimes when you think you have it all planned out and cosy down to get on with it life decides to give you a shove in an opposite direction. Someone very close to me has been diagnosed with some quite significant health problems. Which once again left me feeling should I shouldn't I with regards to racing. I have now missed a lot of the Vit training due to many different appointments and many hours spent in and out of hospitals. The race is next weekend. I know I will get through it, I have a big aerobic base from Outlaw training, but any chance of a decent time is out the window I'm afraid. At least I'll be able to just enjoy it, savour the course and experience, and I will feel I have achieved something after so many disappointments this year. Even more important, I will have the t.shirt!! :)
Next year I had planned for the Outlaw again from this year, but with the news we got was unsure again. I was thinking that when someone isn't well me saying ''I'm just popping out for 5 hours on the bike, see ya later'' isn't the most thoughtful thing to do! On top of that everyone knows the body and mind are a unit, and emotional strain has a big impact on your physical energy, performance, everything really.
But on the flip side, if not now, when? The first year Nan died, this year I've been injured. Next year other commitments, and 2014...?!
I read a book that said you should not attempt to do Iron distance when anything stressful is happening in your life. It said do not consider if you are moving house, have a new relationship, or stress at work. But who has a stress free life?! I certainly don't! Its all very well saying I'll do it when life has settled down, but what if it doesn't? You never know what can happen, and if I'm not careful I may end up looking back 40 years from now and saying, ''Well I did INTEND to do an Ironman, but...'' I do not want that.
I'm aware how much effort and commitment the training takes, and I know that with the many other pressures I have it will be a huge challenge. But it's a huge challenge anyway. Maybe I need to see how I feel after next weekend. I don't want to lose the fitness base I have, and I don't want to lose focus again either.
The point of it is, this is my dream. And nothing is impossible. I may not have much spare time and a lot on, but I have determination in abundance. I still hope and believe I can do it. I love the Olympics slogan- Better Never Stops :)
I help out at the junior section of my club as a triathlon coach, and I'm really excited to go back in September and hopefully see some new faces who have been inspired to join after watching the phenomenal performance of the GB tri squad.
The Paralympics is now upon us.. Hopefully that will be just as supported, and just as inspiring.
I do find myself wondering why the two can't run alongside each other, make everyone a whole team? Obviously they could still compete in their classifications to make it fair, but why not together? At the moment it still seems a bit like we have the Olympics, and then ''the one for the disabled''. Watching the opening ceremony last night there were wheelchair users dancing, visually impaired people rollerskating, and Stephen Hawking doing a speech. Why couldn't we have the dancers and the rollerbladers at the main ceremony? Disability isn't completely understood by everyone, it's seen as being something different, something unusual. And to an able bodied person obviously it is unusual. We may not know how to act or what to say, fear doing the wrong thing, we avoid eye contact so not to be seen as staring. My point is that until we begin to integrate those barriers will always be there. If nobody ever sees or has contact with someone with Cerebral Palsy or paraplegia, of course it will remain a mystery, and something unusual. Popular culture features hardly anyone with a disability at all. Music, art, TV, film, modelling.. all are aimed at how we SHOULD be and SHOULD look. It excludes anyone who doesn't fit that. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I wish we didn't have to put everyone in little boxes.
Anyway! It's been a while since my last post. Since the Outlaw I have been having some down time from training. My motivation waned quite a bit, I found it very difficult to focus on the next goal and keep going, because I didn't really have one! I still felt the disappointment of not competing very strongly.
I realised I had to set another focus. I managed to get a place in the Vitruvian half iron distance. I thought with a few solid weeks I would be fine and happy with completing that, even if I had to just walk the run because of my shins.
Unfortunately, sometimes when you think you have it all planned out and cosy down to get on with it life decides to give you a shove in an opposite direction. Someone very close to me has been diagnosed with some quite significant health problems. Which once again left me feeling should I shouldn't I with regards to racing. I have now missed a lot of the Vit training due to many different appointments and many hours spent in and out of hospitals. The race is next weekend. I know I will get through it, I have a big aerobic base from Outlaw training, but any chance of a decent time is out the window I'm afraid. At least I'll be able to just enjoy it, savour the course and experience, and I will feel I have achieved something after so many disappointments this year. Even more important, I will have the t.shirt!! :)
Next year I had planned for the Outlaw again from this year, but with the news we got was unsure again. I was thinking that when someone isn't well me saying ''I'm just popping out for 5 hours on the bike, see ya later'' isn't the most thoughtful thing to do! On top of that everyone knows the body and mind are a unit, and emotional strain has a big impact on your physical energy, performance, everything really.
But on the flip side, if not now, when? The first year Nan died, this year I've been injured. Next year other commitments, and 2014...?!
I read a book that said you should not attempt to do Iron distance when anything stressful is happening in your life. It said do not consider if you are moving house, have a new relationship, or stress at work. But who has a stress free life?! I certainly don't! Its all very well saying I'll do it when life has settled down, but what if it doesn't? You never know what can happen, and if I'm not careful I may end up looking back 40 years from now and saying, ''Well I did INTEND to do an Ironman, but...'' I do not want that.
I'm aware how much effort and commitment the training takes, and I know that with the many other pressures I have it will be a huge challenge. But it's a huge challenge anyway. Maybe I need to see how I feel after next weekend. I don't want to lose the fitness base I have, and I don't want to lose focus again either.
The point of it is, this is my dream. And nothing is impossible. I may not have much spare time and a lot on, but I have determination in abundance. I still hope and believe I can do it. I love the Olympics slogan- Better Never Stops :)
Sunday, 15 July 2012
A Year On...
Yesterday was the Outlaw Celebration Party.. and the launch of a project I dreamt up and began organising back in April. It was top secret until the launch last night. The Karen Green Foundation Charity Calendar, ''ABSOLUTE-LY STARKERS''
Karen Green was the wife of Mick Green, who owns a specialist racing bike shop in Nottingham. She had lukaemia. After a long battle she died in July 2011. Mick set up the foundation in her name to provide help and support for people suffering the same condition, their families, and to fund research.
I have a lot of respect for Mick, I think what he did was a true show of his strength of charecter. He took an awful, heart breaking situation, and turned it into something positive that will help so many people. Along with that he continued to run his business and look after his two young children. He also trained and completed the Outlaw this year. All alongside dealing with his own grief. What an incredible year, and what an incredible man.
I began thinking of ways to help. I came up with the idea of a charity calendar. Obviously the catch would be that we were going to be in the nuddy. I began gathering participants, I wanted to convey the diverse nature of all who compete in triathlon, so asked women of all ages, shapes and sizes. They were all fantastic, and despite initial reservations they all jumped straight in!
I was really nervous last night before I had to get up on the stage to introduce it.. I'm not quite sure why! Maybe I thought people wouldn't like it, or would think it was an awful idea. But it was the opposite! People really seemed to enjoy it, and walked round looking at the pictures, and many came and spoke to me. People even asked for us to sign the calendars, it was very surreal!!
I suppose people wouldn't think I was a shy person, I certainly don't look that way, or act it sometimes. But I do feel I'm more of an introvert, I'm happiest curled up with my dog and a book on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket! Yes, seriously!
I am also THE most prudish person ever. I won't even wear a bikini. I'm the one who sees people out in summer and tuts because they aren't wearing enough clothing for my liking. So quite how that goes with someone who gets their clothes off and has pictures took I don't know. I obviously have a split personality!!
I think I was focussing on the greater good, and apart from that I had a vision of what it would be like when it was finished, and I knew it would be great.
I had a moment last night where I sat watching proceedings and reflecting. In 2011 there were three of us connected to the club who lost people, all in weeks of each other. My nan was first, then Karen, then a club member called John died. The year has flown by, but also dragged.
The strangest thing for me to reflect on is that without nans death, the likelihood is I wouldn't have the life and friends I have now. That is what led me to entering the outlaw, to beginning the training. It was my focus for grief, and gave me something to cling to when everything else made no sense.
And now that journey is over, the outlaw, the celebration, the calendar project. That particular focus is over. The first year of life without my mother is over... and there are many more years to come without her. The same as for Mick, facing years without Karen, and for John's partner, who carries on alone. That makes me so sad.. But day by day I can also see how I have moved through those awful few months, and have begun to get my life back on track. And to see others doing the same- it really gives me hope.
I'm not trying to be depressing, I'm just reflecting on how life can throw such adversity at us, and how it can seem so unfair, so wrong that good people suffer. But we adapt.. we get back up, and most importantly, move forward.
Athletes from the club who got sponsored for the outlaw raised £18,000 for the charity.
Last night the party raised £7,000.
The calendars are on sale for £10. Bargain.
To find out more about The Karen Green Foundation please go www.karengreenfoundation.co.uk
Karen Green was the wife of Mick Green, who owns a specialist racing bike shop in Nottingham. She had lukaemia. After a long battle she died in July 2011. Mick set up the foundation in her name to provide help and support for people suffering the same condition, their families, and to fund research.
I have a lot of respect for Mick, I think what he did was a true show of his strength of charecter. He took an awful, heart breaking situation, and turned it into something positive that will help so many people. Along with that he continued to run his business and look after his two young children. He also trained and completed the Outlaw this year. All alongside dealing with his own grief. What an incredible year, and what an incredible man.
I began thinking of ways to help. I came up with the idea of a charity calendar. Obviously the catch would be that we were going to be in the nuddy. I began gathering participants, I wanted to convey the diverse nature of all who compete in triathlon, so asked women of all ages, shapes and sizes. They were all fantastic, and despite initial reservations they all jumped straight in!
I was really nervous last night before I had to get up on the stage to introduce it.. I'm not quite sure why! Maybe I thought people wouldn't like it, or would think it was an awful idea. But it was the opposite! People really seemed to enjoy it, and walked round looking at the pictures, and many came and spoke to me. People even asked for us to sign the calendars, it was very surreal!!
I suppose people wouldn't think I was a shy person, I certainly don't look that way, or act it sometimes. But I do feel I'm more of an introvert, I'm happiest curled up with my dog and a book on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket! Yes, seriously!
I am also THE most prudish person ever. I won't even wear a bikini. I'm the one who sees people out in summer and tuts because they aren't wearing enough clothing for my liking. So quite how that goes with someone who gets their clothes off and has pictures took I don't know. I obviously have a split personality!!
I think I was focussing on the greater good, and apart from that I had a vision of what it would be like when it was finished, and I knew it would be great.
I had a moment last night where I sat watching proceedings and reflecting. In 2011 there were three of us connected to the club who lost people, all in weeks of each other. My nan was first, then Karen, then a club member called John died. The year has flown by, but also dragged.
The strangest thing for me to reflect on is that without nans death, the likelihood is I wouldn't have the life and friends I have now. That is what led me to entering the outlaw, to beginning the training. It was my focus for grief, and gave me something to cling to when everything else made no sense.
And now that journey is over, the outlaw, the celebration, the calendar project. That particular focus is over. The first year of life without my mother is over... and there are many more years to come without her. The same as for Mick, facing years without Karen, and for John's partner, who carries on alone. That makes me so sad.. But day by day I can also see how I have moved through those awful few months, and have begun to get my life back on track. And to see others doing the same- it really gives me hope.
I'm not trying to be depressing, I'm just reflecting on how life can throw such adversity at us, and how it can seem so unfair, so wrong that good people suffer. But we adapt.. we get back up, and most importantly, move forward.
Athletes from the club who got sponsored for the outlaw raised £18,000 for the charity.
Last night the party raised £7,000.
The calendars are on sale for £10. Bargain.
To find out more about The Karen Green Foundation please go www.karengreenfoundation.co.uk
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Realisations from the experience of last year!
Already thinking about getting ready for next years' Outlaw. I feel I can go into it knowing a little bit more than I did when I last entered. I didn't have a clue what to expect, what I'd need to do, how much it takes out of you. I know I didn't do the race, but I did do almost all the training required. I've learned a lot from the past 10 months.
1. Saving up and paying £100 for Assos shorts is definitely something worth saving up for. 6 hour rides are painful enough- don't make it worse. A little extra care for my lady bits goes a looooong way.
2. My diet is appalling. If I want to do this triathlon thing I need to seriously get a grip with it. Chocolate with strawberry filling does not count as one of my five a day. Could really do with losing some pork from my hips as well.
3. My inhibitions have almost completely disappeared. Not sure if this is good or bad.This time last year I just would not have gone for a wee outside. During the bike I stopped 3 times, and didn't particularly care about spitting either. Something else I'd never do! Also, it is quite worrying that I am beginning to understand why people just stand up and ''let the golden flow go''. It is annoying to have to keep stopping. If I'm thinking this now, it can only mean a slippery slope towards actually doing it next year!! (On the run at least, I don't think I could bring myself to wee in my expensive shorts and on my pretty bike)
4. I must embrace the shitty English weather. I can either moan and miss half my sessions, or get mudguards, rubber overshoes, and a goretex jacket/hat/bodysuit/balaclava. I'm not going to be moving to the maldives anytime soon, nor does global warming appear to be affecting us, so time to work with what I've got. Unfortunately that means embracing cold, wind and rain. And that's just in summer!!
5. My 'everything must match' philosophy works quite well. I had so many comments on my bright orange calf guards! People probably thought they were horrendous, but I don't care. The future's bright..
6. I'm crap on hills. Must practice.
7. I now have a massive endurance base and didn't even feel tired after the bike, but I am way too slow. Aside from 'David with the disc wheel', I hardly passed anyone else! Apart from in the last 10 miles when I felt quite good. Must practice.
8. Must do my physio exercises. There isn't a magic pill that will take my injuries away, it's time and patience. And physio!!
9. I will be hungry a lot of the time.
10. And tired.
11. And won't have a social life. Not outside of other strange people who get up at 7am on a Sunday to do a brick session anyway.
12. Must embrace public swim sessions. Horrendous, but got to be done.
13. I've only changed a tyre once. Thankfully on sunday I didn't get a puncture, but I must practice. It's likely to happen at some point. Even though I have sold my soul to the Puncture Demon, he's a greedy bugger and will make me suffer at some point.
14. I know myself really well now. I know what heart zone I'm in without even looking at my watch. I know when I should be in a different gear. I have so much more mental focus. I hardly ever even notice the scenery now!!
15. It will be worth it 100%. I can't wait. Bring it on!!!
I've entered the Vitruvian in September, a race I've always wanted to do. The reason? Is it the atmosphere, the stunning scenery, the challenge? No. It's because I adore Da Vinci, and his artwork, and the t.shirt has the huge Vitruvian man on it. Ever since I saw someone walking round with one I knew I had to do it! I've got my priorities right.
I am beginning a run/walk programme tomorrow again, so everything is crossed that this time I am fully healed and ready to go. Even if not, I can still walk a half marathon. I am just aiming to finish. (And get the t.shirt!!)
I've had a whole week off after last Sunday, and a much needed rest. I'm starting to feel better again, more energy and looking forward to getting back to it. Still not 100%, but I think that will take time yet. And physio!!!
All in all, ready to go again, and looking forward to September and my first tri of the year!!
1. Saving up and paying £100 for Assos shorts is definitely something worth saving up for. 6 hour rides are painful enough- don't make it worse. A little extra care for my lady bits goes a looooong way.
2. My diet is appalling. If I want to do this triathlon thing I need to seriously get a grip with it. Chocolate with strawberry filling does not count as one of my five a day. Could really do with losing some pork from my hips as well.
3. My inhibitions have almost completely disappeared. Not sure if this is good or bad.This time last year I just would not have gone for a wee outside. During the bike I stopped 3 times, and didn't particularly care about spitting either. Something else I'd never do! Also, it is quite worrying that I am beginning to understand why people just stand up and ''let the golden flow go''. It is annoying to have to keep stopping. If I'm thinking this now, it can only mean a slippery slope towards actually doing it next year!! (On the run at least, I don't think I could bring myself to wee in my expensive shorts and on my pretty bike)
4. I must embrace the shitty English weather. I can either moan and miss half my sessions, or get mudguards, rubber overshoes, and a goretex jacket/hat/bodysuit/balaclava. I'm not going to be moving to the maldives anytime soon, nor does global warming appear to be affecting us, so time to work with what I've got. Unfortunately that means embracing cold, wind and rain. And that's just in summer!!
5. My 'everything must match' philosophy works quite well. I had so many comments on my bright orange calf guards! People probably thought they were horrendous, but I don't care. The future's bright..
6. I'm crap on hills. Must practice.
7. I now have a massive endurance base and didn't even feel tired after the bike, but I am way too slow. Aside from 'David with the disc wheel', I hardly passed anyone else! Apart from in the last 10 miles when I felt quite good. Must practice.
8. Must do my physio exercises. There isn't a magic pill that will take my injuries away, it's time and patience. And physio!!
9. I will be hungry a lot of the time.
10. And tired.
11. And won't have a social life. Not outside of other strange people who get up at 7am on a Sunday to do a brick session anyway.
12. Must embrace public swim sessions. Horrendous, but got to be done.
13. I've only changed a tyre once. Thankfully on sunday I didn't get a puncture, but I must practice. It's likely to happen at some point. Even though I have sold my soul to the Puncture Demon, he's a greedy bugger and will make me suffer at some point.
14. I know myself really well now. I know what heart zone I'm in without even looking at my watch. I know when I should be in a different gear. I have so much more mental focus. I hardly ever even notice the scenery now!!
15. It will be worth it 100%. I can't wait. Bring it on!!!
I've entered the Vitruvian in September, a race I've always wanted to do. The reason? Is it the atmosphere, the stunning scenery, the challenge? No. It's because I adore Da Vinci, and his artwork, and the t.shirt has the huge Vitruvian man on it. Ever since I saw someone walking round with one I knew I had to do it! I've got my priorities right.
I am beginning a run/walk programme tomorrow again, so everything is crossed that this time I am fully healed and ready to go. Even if not, I can still walk a half marathon. I am just aiming to finish. (And get the t.shirt!!)
I've had a whole week off after last Sunday, and a much needed rest. I'm starting to feel better again, more energy and looking forward to getting back to it. Still not 100%, but I think that will take time yet. And physio!!!
All in all, ready to go again, and looking forward to September and my first tri of the year!!
Monday, 2 July 2012
D. Day! The Outlaw, 1st July 2012
For some ridiculous reason even after such a long day yesterday and an even longer bike ride, I woke up at 6.15am this morning, so thought I'd do something useful and write this.
Sooo, after waiting 7 long months it was finally here! The night before I got all my stuff ready, and planned to get up at 4.30am, have breakfast and take my time and leave at 5.15am to get there to watch the start. Because of my atrocious sleeping patterns I was obsessed with not waking up on time or not hearing the alarm, so I kept checking it. I woke naturally at 4.20. Then the next thing I remember was jumping up with a start, looking at my phone and seeing it was 5.15. Hence a mad rush and no breakfast. Typical.
I arrived at the start and loaded up my bike, then went to watch the swim. The lake was (unusually) flat, and the sun had risen. It was a lovely sight. I had a pang of sadness that I wasn't there. The horn sounded and the washing machine of arms and legs commenced.
The swimmer for our relay team had told me to expect him around 1.15 or 1.20, so I was quite surprised when he popped up much sooner than that! Almost 15 minutes sooner!
He passed the chip over and I was off. A camera was following me, so getting the bike and holding my top with all the gels in, I tried desperately to look like I knew what I was doing, and concentrated on smiling and not falling over.
Going round to the opposite part of the lake, it was straight into a headwind, but I didn't worry too much, because it's always windy round there. 'It'll be ok once I'm on the road' I thought. HA! If only I knew!
The first few miles were generally uneventful, I had a lot of people passing me. It was rather disheartening at times, I felt really crap! I was in a bit of a thing with a man on a bike with a disc wheel called David, we kept passing each other. I was better on the flat and going up undulations, and he was better on the rough bits and into the headwind. I saw a few people from my club as they went by which was nice, I had expected that, and it gave me something else to focus on. On the north loop at one point, I don't know if it was the road surface or the wind or uphill or what, but I couldn't get over 13mph. I just felt shocking, like the energy had been sucked out of me. My quads cramped everytime I tried to go faster. Obviously this was quite concerning, I wasn't even close to halfway yet! I haven't been 100% for a while now, and at that point I thought it was coming back to bite me. Eventually though I did start to feel better, but I did find the north loop generally quite difficult. The wind was relentless.
Onto the south loops I hoped the wind wouldn't be as bad. Mm. Unfortunately not. It was, and it didn't stop. At mile 50 I took ibuprofen, because my quads and my shoulder had completely seized up, I think I was expending so much extra energy just fighting the wind that it was having an effect. I rode the bike harder than I ever did in training, because obviously in training I had to imagine I was running a marathon after. I also spent a lot of time on the aerobars, again something I hadn't really done, because of my arm. It was so maddening that all the effort I was putting in was producing exactly the same result as if I was ambling along not trying! Bloody weather!!!
Anyway, I'm not going to even mention the wind again now, it just makes me annoyed. I'll mention my toilet habits instead! I had to go 3 times for a wee!! The first time I had just found a nice little enclosed bit, when someone from the club came past, saw me and shouted ''No one will see you go for a wee there!'' I started laughing, was quite impressed with the wit. It's a big thing for me to get my bum out, it just doesn't happen! All the training rides I think I've been once. That was it. By the third wee though I was fed up of it, I didn't want to stop! And to squat is bad enough, but to squat with sore jelly legs?! Awful! Had proper knee tremble! And when you try to have a quick wee and it just goes on forever.... and you try to push it out quicker and think, 'come on'!! but the wee will insist it takes it's time, and it's in there laughing to itself, saying 'I haven't finished yet, kindly do not rush me' and the knees are just worried they won't hold you up anymore, so they start to protest too.
The third time I stopped I went in a field that had these plant things all in rows. I don't know what they were, but if you're a farmer and you find I gave your turnips or whatever some extra fermentation, I'm really sorry! A girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do...
I had to take more ibuprofen at mile 87, just as I approached two people jumping up and down shouting my name. It shows what state of mind you can go into. I have been in her car numerous times. Didn't recognise it. I train with her week in, week out, but really didn't know who she was. I was so out of it and fuzzy by then that all focus is put into keeping going. I finally realised who they were, and smiled and waved. It crossed my mind as I passed that I should have asked for a lift!
As I came to the end of the ride it started throwing it down. Nice. I was so glad just to get back, pass the chip on and go and get some food.
After eating I went to go to the club tent to get my bag and go and have a shower. As I approached some steps I thought, 'This may be slippy with cycling shoes on'. I was right, it was slippy, and I went straight down, straight onto my hip bone, elbow, and head. luckily I had my helmet loosely on. It reeeeeeally f*****g hurt. And I said exactly that to the two people who came to help me. Today I have a huge graze and bruise, and I can't bend my leg. I took my cycling shoes off after that.
After my shower I went back to the tent to cheer on the others on the course. I did wish several times that I had just done it, because I felt ok, I wasn't particularly tired or anything, I felt I could have kept going. But, I suppose in hindsight it's always easy to say that, and a marathon is a long way. I'd also had to take painkillers just to get through the bike, not a great sign.
I have to say it was a lovely day, a lovely experience, and we still got a medal and a t.shirt for doing the relay, which I was thrilled with. Always love a medal!! I wish I had got my moment, but it will come.
It was lovely to see everyone I knew who had entered finish, and there was just a sense of camaraderie and support, of people really coming together. It was great to be there and see the culmination of months and months of hard work, sacrifice and the pursuit of the ultimate triathlon challenge. Not many people would dream of doing it. A man on the bike said to me as he passed, ''Isn't it weird that most people have just got out of bed, and we're here doing this, why..."
I don't think there is a definitive reason why, for each has their own personal reasons, but at the heart of it, I think everyone who did the race yesterday, everyone who has said no to that extra beer, got up at 5am to do a 2 hour run in the cold before work, everyone who didn't give up, against all odds, I think at the heart of it, we all want to be the very best we can be. And we all are. Congratulations to every single person who completed yesterday. I am in awe of you all.
*dum, dum, dum,..* I look into the window, of my mind, reflections of the fears I know I've left behhhhhind, so I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending, I'm on my way, can't stop me now, you can do the saaaaaaame, yeah, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD......
Sooo, after waiting 7 long months it was finally here! The night before I got all my stuff ready, and planned to get up at 4.30am, have breakfast and take my time and leave at 5.15am to get there to watch the start. Because of my atrocious sleeping patterns I was obsessed with not waking up on time or not hearing the alarm, so I kept checking it. I woke naturally at 4.20. Then the next thing I remember was jumping up with a start, looking at my phone and seeing it was 5.15. Hence a mad rush and no breakfast. Typical.
I arrived at the start and loaded up my bike, then went to watch the swim. The lake was (unusually) flat, and the sun had risen. It was a lovely sight. I had a pang of sadness that I wasn't there. The horn sounded and the washing machine of arms and legs commenced.
The swimmer for our relay team had told me to expect him around 1.15 or 1.20, so I was quite surprised when he popped up much sooner than that! Almost 15 minutes sooner!
He passed the chip over and I was off. A camera was following me, so getting the bike and holding my top with all the gels in, I tried desperately to look like I knew what I was doing, and concentrated on smiling and not falling over.
Going round to the opposite part of the lake, it was straight into a headwind, but I didn't worry too much, because it's always windy round there. 'It'll be ok once I'm on the road' I thought. HA! If only I knew!
The first few miles were generally uneventful, I had a lot of people passing me. It was rather disheartening at times, I felt really crap! I was in a bit of a thing with a man on a bike with a disc wheel called David, we kept passing each other. I was better on the flat and going up undulations, and he was better on the rough bits and into the headwind. I saw a few people from my club as they went by which was nice, I had expected that, and it gave me something else to focus on. On the north loop at one point, I don't know if it was the road surface or the wind or uphill or what, but I couldn't get over 13mph. I just felt shocking, like the energy had been sucked out of me. My quads cramped everytime I tried to go faster. Obviously this was quite concerning, I wasn't even close to halfway yet! I haven't been 100% for a while now, and at that point I thought it was coming back to bite me. Eventually though I did start to feel better, but I did find the north loop generally quite difficult. The wind was relentless.
Onto the south loops I hoped the wind wouldn't be as bad. Mm. Unfortunately not. It was, and it didn't stop. At mile 50 I took ibuprofen, because my quads and my shoulder had completely seized up, I think I was expending so much extra energy just fighting the wind that it was having an effect. I rode the bike harder than I ever did in training, because obviously in training I had to imagine I was running a marathon after. I also spent a lot of time on the aerobars, again something I hadn't really done, because of my arm. It was so maddening that all the effort I was putting in was producing exactly the same result as if I was ambling along not trying! Bloody weather!!!
Anyway, I'm not going to even mention the wind again now, it just makes me annoyed. I'll mention my toilet habits instead! I had to go 3 times for a wee!! The first time I had just found a nice little enclosed bit, when someone from the club came past, saw me and shouted ''No one will see you go for a wee there!'' I started laughing, was quite impressed with the wit. It's a big thing for me to get my bum out, it just doesn't happen! All the training rides I think I've been once. That was it. By the third wee though I was fed up of it, I didn't want to stop! And to squat is bad enough, but to squat with sore jelly legs?! Awful! Had proper knee tremble! And when you try to have a quick wee and it just goes on forever.... and you try to push it out quicker and think, 'come on'!! but the wee will insist it takes it's time, and it's in there laughing to itself, saying 'I haven't finished yet, kindly do not rush me' and the knees are just worried they won't hold you up anymore, so they start to protest too.
The third time I stopped I went in a field that had these plant things all in rows. I don't know what they were, but if you're a farmer and you find I gave your turnips or whatever some extra fermentation, I'm really sorry! A girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do...
I had to take more ibuprofen at mile 87, just as I approached two people jumping up and down shouting my name. It shows what state of mind you can go into. I have been in her car numerous times. Didn't recognise it. I train with her week in, week out, but really didn't know who she was. I was so out of it and fuzzy by then that all focus is put into keeping going. I finally realised who they were, and smiled and waved. It crossed my mind as I passed that I should have asked for a lift!
As I came to the end of the ride it started throwing it down. Nice. I was so glad just to get back, pass the chip on and go and get some food.
After eating I went to go to the club tent to get my bag and go and have a shower. As I approached some steps I thought, 'This may be slippy with cycling shoes on'. I was right, it was slippy, and I went straight down, straight onto my hip bone, elbow, and head. luckily I had my helmet loosely on. It reeeeeeally f*****g hurt. And I said exactly that to the two people who came to help me. Today I have a huge graze and bruise, and I can't bend my leg. I took my cycling shoes off after that.
After my shower I went back to the tent to cheer on the others on the course. I did wish several times that I had just done it, because I felt ok, I wasn't particularly tired or anything, I felt I could have kept going. But, I suppose in hindsight it's always easy to say that, and a marathon is a long way. I'd also had to take painkillers just to get through the bike, not a great sign.
I have to say it was a lovely day, a lovely experience, and we still got a medal and a t.shirt for doing the relay, which I was thrilled with. Always love a medal!! I wish I had got my moment, but it will come.
It was lovely to see everyone I knew who had entered finish, and there was just a sense of camaraderie and support, of people really coming together. It was great to be there and see the culmination of months and months of hard work, sacrifice and the pursuit of the ultimate triathlon challenge. Not many people would dream of doing it. A man on the bike said to me as he passed, ''Isn't it weird that most people have just got out of bed, and we're here doing this, why..."
I don't think there is a definitive reason why, for each has their own personal reasons, but at the heart of it, I think everyone who did the race yesterday, everyone who has said no to that extra beer, got up at 5am to do a 2 hour run in the cold before work, everyone who didn't give up, against all odds, I think at the heart of it, we all want to be the very best we can be. And we all are. Congratulations to every single person who completed yesterday. I am in awe of you all.
*dum, dum, dum,..* I look into the window, of my mind, reflections of the fears I know I've left behhhhhind, so I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending, I'm on my way, can't stop me now, you can do the saaaaaaame, yeah, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD......
Thursday, 28 June 2012
History in the making!
The Olympic Flame has arrived in my hometown, Nottingham!
Whilst looking out of the window at an almighty thunderstorm this morning, I started to wonder how they prevent the torch from going out. I really wanted to know the answer, so I tweeted (yes, tweeted, after a turbulent start and much confusion I actually understand Twitter now) Notts council, and they directed me to a website explaining how the torch was weatherproofed. I won't bore you all with it because you may not be as geeky as me, but I thought it was fascinating how much design and thought has gone into it - It was even tested in the BMW wind tunnel, and put under heat lamps!!
Anyway, I walked down to one of the roads it would go along before heading to the centre, and took my place to wait. A police convoy came round the corner. That set a woman behind me off moaning about how ridiculous and pointless it all was.
''Look Barry, look at this. I mean it's stupid isn't it, this is what I pay my taxes for. For a stupid gold stick to have how many coppers protecting it. They should be out doing something useful''
She had a REALLY grating voice that made me cringe. I despair of people sometimes. I know we are in a recession, life is hard, it's crap etc, and yes, the council do rip us off. But.. this time they have spent our money on doing something that will give us enjoyment, fun, a sense of community and celebration! Would you rather we didn't have the celebration and they spend the money on cleaning graffiti and fixing potholes?! I wouldn't! I'd rather have the moment of excitement and drive round the pothole! We don't get this often! And not to forget we are watching a moment of history go past, we are not going to see this again. It's world culture, it's tradition. Not just 'a gold stick'. Now, should we enjoy this moment of everyone coming together or should we stand and moan about it?!
First in the convoy were the sponsors. Now this always amuses me. Have you noticed who the main sponsors for 2012 actually are? Coca Cola, Mcdonalds, and Cadbury. In a time of rising obesity, eating disorders and people in the UK being at their fattest ever, the biggest sports event in the world is sponsored by the biggest culprits. Ironic. And insane. Advertising has a lot to answer for. Promoting sport and healthy lifestyles, but here, pop into Maccy D's and get a coke. And a bar of dairy milk for after. Perfect.
The coke van was handing out bottles, which set moaning minnie behind me off again.
''Look Barry, look, they aren't even handing them this way, we're going to miss out again as usual. Just my luck. Oh make sure we don't get a ticket too. You know what these bloody traffic wardens are like. Always after your money.''
Then it was-
''Barry what are they wearing, the people who are doing this? I hear they have to wear a uniform. God only knows who they got to design it, probably another rich daddies girl''
What a moaning sod she was!! I had to leave God and Barry to it after that, I couldn't stand listening to her anymore, she was making me tired. You are a strong man Barry. All the best.
As the torch approached I felt really excited and a bit kind of 'wow'. (Easily pleased) The man holding it looked so happy, it was really nice. I wish I could have run with it. And I would have run, sod the shin splints. It must have been a really special moment.
A woman next to me stepped out into the road as he passed to try and get a picture, almost sending the support people running at the side flying. The supporter shouted get out of the road, which I thought was most tactful. Some people have no common sense.
I walked into the centre, but missed the big flame being lit by Torvil and Dean, because there were SO many people and you couldn't get anywhere fast. Actually you couldn't get anywhere at all. There were thousands. I could see a slide show of olympic moments being played which was great. I always get so emotional watching stuff like that! Maybe I was an olympian in a former life. They played Kelly Holmes' moment obviously, which is a classic.
I think I get all choked because it's just magical, hard work and dedication and pushing yourself to the limit, again and again in pursuit of your goal, whatever that may be.
Now it's close to what would have been my magic, my moment. It's two days away. I feel awfully sad, but at the same time I know I will be there next year, and I will hopefully be going into it fully fit and confident. I am in a relay doing the bike, so I'm able to do a small part of it at least this year.
I'm nervous and excited for my friends who are taking part, and looking forward to seeing them all cross the line.
By the way, my Twitter is @swimbikeruncake ;)
Whilst looking out of the window at an almighty thunderstorm this morning, I started to wonder how they prevent the torch from going out. I really wanted to know the answer, so I tweeted (yes, tweeted, after a turbulent start and much confusion I actually understand Twitter now) Notts council, and they directed me to a website explaining how the torch was weatherproofed. I won't bore you all with it because you may not be as geeky as me, but I thought it was fascinating how much design and thought has gone into it - It was even tested in the BMW wind tunnel, and put under heat lamps!!
Anyway, I walked down to one of the roads it would go along before heading to the centre, and took my place to wait. A police convoy came round the corner. That set a woman behind me off moaning about how ridiculous and pointless it all was.
''Look Barry, look at this. I mean it's stupid isn't it, this is what I pay my taxes for. For a stupid gold stick to have how many coppers protecting it. They should be out doing something useful''
She had a REALLY grating voice that made me cringe. I despair of people sometimes. I know we are in a recession, life is hard, it's crap etc, and yes, the council do rip us off. But.. this time they have spent our money on doing something that will give us enjoyment, fun, a sense of community and celebration! Would you rather we didn't have the celebration and they spend the money on cleaning graffiti and fixing potholes?! I wouldn't! I'd rather have the moment of excitement and drive round the pothole! We don't get this often! And not to forget we are watching a moment of history go past, we are not going to see this again. It's world culture, it's tradition. Not just 'a gold stick'. Now, should we enjoy this moment of everyone coming together or should we stand and moan about it?!
First in the convoy were the sponsors. Now this always amuses me. Have you noticed who the main sponsors for 2012 actually are? Coca Cola, Mcdonalds, and Cadbury. In a time of rising obesity, eating disorders and people in the UK being at their fattest ever, the biggest sports event in the world is sponsored by the biggest culprits. Ironic. And insane. Advertising has a lot to answer for. Promoting sport and healthy lifestyles, but here, pop into Maccy D's and get a coke. And a bar of dairy milk for after. Perfect.
The coke van was handing out bottles, which set moaning minnie behind me off again.
''Look Barry, look, they aren't even handing them this way, we're going to miss out again as usual. Just my luck. Oh make sure we don't get a ticket too. You know what these bloody traffic wardens are like. Always after your money.''
Then it was-
''Barry what are they wearing, the people who are doing this? I hear they have to wear a uniform. God only knows who they got to design it, probably another rich daddies girl''
What a moaning sod she was!! I had to leave God and Barry to it after that, I couldn't stand listening to her anymore, she was making me tired. You are a strong man Barry. All the best.
As the torch approached I felt really excited and a bit kind of 'wow'. (Easily pleased) The man holding it looked so happy, it was really nice. I wish I could have run with it. And I would have run, sod the shin splints. It must have been a really special moment.
A woman next to me stepped out into the road as he passed to try and get a picture, almost sending the support people running at the side flying. The supporter shouted get out of the road, which I thought was most tactful. Some people have no common sense.
I walked into the centre, but missed the big flame being lit by Torvil and Dean, because there were SO many people and you couldn't get anywhere fast. Actually you couldn't get anywhere at all. There were thousands. I could see a slide show of olympic moments being played which was great. I always get so emotional watching stuff like that! Maybe I was an olympian in a former life. They played Kelly Holmes' moment obviously, which is a classic.
I think I get all choked because it's just magical, hard work and dedication and pushing yourself to the limit, again and again in pursuit of your goal, whatever that may be.
Now it's close to what would have been my magic, my moment. It's two days away. I feel awfully sad, but at the same time I know I will be there next year, and I will hopefully be going into it fully fit and confident. I am in a relay doing the bike, so I'm able to do a small part of it at least this year.
I'm nervous and excited for my friends who are taking part, and looking forward to seeing them all cross the line.
By the way, my Twitter is @swimbikeruncake ;)
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
Integrating Triathletes Back Into Society.
I feel a bit lost at the moment, kind of like I should be doing something but I'm not sure what... All this spare time is difficult to get used to!!
After all the training it takes to do an Iron distance, one suddenly tends to feel lost when it is no longer needed. Therefore I have complied a list to help fellow triathletes who find themselves wondering around.
1. It is no longer acceptable to wear your compression gear 24/7. You haven't just done a 6 hour bike/3 hour run, so there is no need. Also, give your other half a break, did you REALLY think wearing leggings to bed was an attractive prospect? For their sake, (and your marriage) stop.
2. Same goes for wearing compression under clothes when you go out, no need. Ladies, it's going to feel chilly under that dress now!
3. No excuse to get out of cooking/washing up, you aren't too tired. Take your turn. In fact, take an extra turn, your nearest and dearest have been taking the slack for you for the past 6 months.
4. It is no longer ok to talk every second about how much your saddle sores are hurting and which chamois cream works better than others. Save it for Oprah. Let the memory go and move on.
5. Do not stuff anything and everything into your mouth when possible,''I'm in training'' isn't going to cut it anymore. If you want the extra piece of cake you now have to state a valid reason like everyone else. And don't forget they've automatically let you have it for the past half a year... be prepared for a fight.
6. Falling asleep at your desk is not permitted. It won't be ''Arh, the little cherub, he's doing Ironman you know'' it'll be, ''Wake up you lazy git!!''
7. Weekends are no longer yours to go and play on your bike with your friends... it's time to do all those things you've conveniently been able to avoid by ''training''. The mother in law is still waiting for her visit... and flowers to make up for the last time you missed her Sunday dinner.
8. Money no longer needs to be spent on adding to the vast amount of kit you've accumulated... it needs to be spent on your other half for putting up with your lycra addiction.
9. Holidays are now just that- holidays. Not training camps, not an opportunity to run, or do 100 lengths of the pool. And your bike stays at home.
10. You will be an Ironman forever, no one can ever take this achievement away from you, you did it, after all that hard work! ...and that's wonderful Honey, it really is... but, I'm guessing after hearing about it for the millionth time, people will begin to glaze over. Give it a month or so, but then save it for the other Triathletes In Integration ok.
*If you find you really cannot live without Ironman training, please don't suffer alone. There are many people in a similar situation, who are prepared to talk to you. Helpline numbers and both 1-1 and group therapy is available. We need to get this terrible issue openly accepted in society and make it easier for triathletes to reintegrate, with the support and understanding they deserve*
-And hey, if it does get really bad, you can always join me next year! ;p
After all the training it takes to do an Iron distance, one suddenly tends to feel lost when it is no longer needed. Therefore I have complied a list to help fellow triathletes who find themselves wondering around.
1. It is no longer acceptable to wear your compression gear 24/7. You haven't just done a 6 hour bike/3 hour run, so there is no need. Also, give your other half a break, did you REALLY think wearing leggings to bed was an attractive prospect? For their sake, (and your marriage) stop.
2. Same goes for wearing compression under clothes when you go out, no need. Ladies, it's going to feel chilly under that dress now!
3. No excuse to get out of cooking/washing up, you aren't too tired. Take your turn. In fact, take an extra turn, your nearest and dearest have been taking the slack for you for the past 6 months.
4. It is no longer ok to talk every second about how much your saddle sores are hurting and which chamois cream works better than others. Save it for Oprah. Let the memory go and move on.
5. Do not stuff anything and everything into your mouth when possible,''I'm in training'' isn't going to cut it anymore. If you want the extra piece of cake you now have to state a valid reason like everyone else. And don't forget they've automatically let you have it for the past half a year... be prepared for a fight.
6. Falling asleep at your desk is not permitted. It won't be ''Arh, the little cherub, he's doing Ironman you know'' it'll be, ''Wake up you lazy git!!''
7. Weekends are no longer yours to go and play on your bike with your friends... it's time to do all those things you've conveniently been able to avoid by ''training''. The mother in law is still waiting for her visit... and flowers to make up for the last time you missed her Sunday dinner.
8. Money no longer needs to be spent on adding to the vast amount of kit you've accumulated... it needs to be spent on your other half for putting up with your lycra addiction.
9. Holidays are now just that- holidays. Not training camps, not an opportunity to run, or do 100 lengths of the pool. And your bike stays at home.
10. You will be an Ironman forever, no one can ever take this achievement away from you, you did it, after all that hard work! ...and that's wonderful Honey, it really is... but, I'm guessing after hearing about it for the millionth time, people will begin to glaze over. Give it a month or so, but then save it for the other Triathletes In Integration ok.
*If you find you really cannot live without Ironman training, please don't suffer alone. There are many people in a similar situation, who are prepared to talk to you. Helpline numbers and both 1-1 and group therapy is available. We need to get this terrible issue openly accepted in society and make it easier for triathletes to reintegrate, with the support and understanding they deserve*
-And hey, if it does get really bad, you can always join me next year! ;p
Sunday, 17 June 2012
For Now..... The Journey is over.
It's with great regret that I'm letting you all know that I won't be on the start line this year.
The past few weeks have been getting increasingly difficult, and I just don't feel I'd be able to complete the race anywhere near my full potential, if at all.
My shoulder is still hurting after every swim, the cycling is also getting difficult, and the run.. well, the run has been non existent because of my shin splints.
As well as my injuries unforeseen circumstances have gotten in the way over the past months, and particularly in the last few weeks, and I just feel exhausted, and desperately need the pressure to be off.
I could push through and just get through the day, and it is tempting, I've come so far and hate to quit anything, but to be honest my body and mind are tired, and I'd just be trying to squeeze energy out of seriously depleted stores.
I'm not going to go into how I feel, because to be honest at the moment I just don't want to think about it. I'm not sure what my next step will be. I am possibly going to do the bike leg of a relay team, and will possibly consider doing the Outlaw next year. But I don't know. For the moment, I just feel quite empty.
Swiftly moving on, I never usually name names, but for this post I will, as I would have done in my post Outlaw celebration blog. I want to take the chance to acknowledge all the people who have helped me get through the last 7 months of training. I wouldn't have got this far without any of them. Bear with me....
Thank you to Steve for all his hard work and commitment to my coaching and getting me this far. I know I've been a challenge. Character building I think it's called ;)
Thank you to all of my cycling buddies over the past seven months. (Yes, even you John ''puncture king'' Budworth, although you did nothing for my nerves with your pssssssss- ing!!)
For the support, the laughs, and the advice. I wouldn't have done it without you all. I'd have got bored after an hour and gone home :)
Thank you to the weather for being utterly shite and turning me into a true hardcore cyclist.
Thank you to Debbie for always completely believing in me, and reminding me of it. Love you.
Thank you to "It was a lovely day" Lisa, for being a friend, a constant support, and always making me laugh. You have proved you can be a princess in polka dots AND a 70.3 champion.
Andy ''Pocket Rocket'' Sharp. Hilarious. You never fail to entertain me. Thank you for being a great mate, and sharing your life philosophies along the way. Whistling constantly and getting lost just for fun amongst them.
Nic-olas and my Tubby Hubby for always telling me you think I'm crazy, but being there anyway. Mmwah
Massive appreciation and thanks to everyone at Absolute Triathlon Club in Nottingham for being so supportive and caring. I couldn't ask to be in a nicer club, what a brilliant group of people. I'm really proud to be a part of it. The future is bright... and most definitely orange :)
Matt- Your dedication to this challenge has been amazing, and you've come such a long way, well done. It isn't just the new swanky carbon bike that has made you go faster, it's your endless determination and hard work. And I really can see you in the GB age grouper kit one day....
Thank you to Jayne, for always listening.
Sorry to people I've neglected over the past months, declined to go out with or visit, because I've had to train.. I'll catch up with you all soon, before I probably begin the whole anti social ''I'm training'' thing all over again.
A huge and heartfelt thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far... I'm so very sorry I have not fulfilled what I intended. This makes me really really upset, because I wanted to do it for my Nan.
Mike- I was sceptical at first, but your guinness cake is definitely the way forward. Ami's cupcakes are also very close to my heart though... Bake off needed!!! :)
Pearly- Thanks for making my dinner after the long sessions when I was too knackered to move.
And Helen.. I know you don't do praise, but... without you and your endless support with just about everything I wouldn't have got this far. In fact, I wouldn't have even entered the event in the first place. You were the inspiration, and I'm privileged to have you as a friend. Thank you so much for everything. I just wish I was writing this with the finishers medal round my neck, because I wanted to make you just as proud of me as I am of you.
Finally thank you to all of you who have kept reading my posts all this time!! I have been really overwhelmed with all the lovely feedback and comments I've had, it's so nice to think that people actually take the time to do that and appreciate the ramblings of a wannabe triathlete. Thanks for sharing the journey, and I hope I've kept you entertained.
Best of luck to everyone competing on 1st July.......
..............It's all we can do. xxx
The past few weeks have been getting increasingly difficult, and I just don't feel I'd be able to complete the race anywhere near my full potential, if at all.
My shoulder is still hurting after every swim, the cycling is also getting difficult, and the run.. well, the run has been non existent because of my shin splints.
As well as my injuries unforeseen circumstances have gotten in the way over the past months, and particularly in the last few weeks, and I just feel exhausted, and desperately need the pressure to be off.
I could push through and just get through the day, and it is tempting, I've come so far and hate to quit anything, but to be honest my body and mind are tired, and I'd just be trying to squeeze energy out of seriously depleted stores.
I'm not going to go into how I feel, because to be honest at the moment I just don't want to think about it. I'm not sure what my next step will be. I am possibly going to do the bike leg of a relay team, and will possibly consider doing the Outlaw next year. But I don't know. For the moment, I just feel quite empty.
Swiftly moving on, I never usually name names, but for this post I will, as I would have done in my post Outlaw celebration blog. I want to take the chance to acknowledge all the people who have helped me get through the last 7 months of training. I wouldn't have got this far without any of them. Bear with me....
Thank you to Steve for all his hard work and commitment to my coaching and getting me this far. I know I've been a challenge. Character building I think it's called ;)
Thank you to all of my cycling buddies over the past seven months. (Yes, even you John ''puncture king'' Budworth, although you did nothing for my nerves with your pssssssss- ing!!)
For the support, the laughs, and the advice. I wouldn't have done it without you all. I'd have got bored after an hour and gone home :)
Thank you to the weather for being utterly shite and turning me into a true hardcore cyclist.
Thank you to Debbie for always completely believing in me, and reminding me of it. Love you.
Thank you to "It was a lovely day" Lisa, for being a friend, a constant support, and always making me laugh. You have proved you can be a princess in polka dots AND a 70.3 champion.
Andy ''Pocket Rocket'' Sharp. Hilarious. You never fail to entertain me. Thank you for being a great mate, and sharing your life philosophies along the way. Whistling constantly and getting lost just for fun amongst them.
Nic-olas and my Tubby Hubby for always telling me you think I'm crazy, but being there anyway. Mmwah
Massive appreciation and thanks to everyone at Absolute Triathlon Club in Nottingham for being so supportive and caring. I couldn't ask to be in a nicer club, what a brilliant group of people. I'm really proud to be a part of it. The future is bright... and most definitely orange :)
Matt- Your dedication to this challenge has been amazing, and you've come such a long way, well done. It isn't just the new swanky carbon bike that has made you go faster, it's your endless determination and hard work. And I really can see you in the GB age grouper kit one day....
Thank you to Jayne, for always listening.
Sorry to people I've neglected over the past months, declined to go out with or visit, because I've had to train.. I'll catch up with you all soon, before I probably begin the whole anti social ''I'm training'' thing all over again.
A huge and heartfelt thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far... I'm so very sorry I have not fulfilled what I intended. This makes me really really upset, because I wanted to do it for my Nan.
Mike- I was sceptical at first, but your guinness cake is definitely the way forward. Ami's cupcakes are also very close to my heart though... Bake off needed!!! :)
Pearly- Thanks for making my dinner after the long sessions when I was too knackered to move.
And Helen.. I know you don't do praise, but... without you and your endless support with just about everything I wouldn't have got this far. In fact, I wouldn't have even entered the event in the first place. You were the inspiration, and I'm privileged to have you as a friend. Thank you so much for everything. I just wish I was writing this with the finishers medal round my neck, because I wanted to make you just as proud of me as I am of you.
Finally thank you to all of you who have kept reading my posts all this time!! I have been really overwhelmed with all the lovely feedback and comments I've had, it's so nice to think that people actually take the time to do that and appreciate the ramblings of a wannabe triathlete. Thanks for sharing the journey, and I hope I've kept you entertained.
Best of luck to everyone competing on 1st July.......
..............It's all we can do. xxx
Sunday, 10 June 2012
Bring On The Taper!!
Hallelujah!! Last long ride completed today. 6 hours 20 minutes. The relief I (and my bits) feel is so welcome.
The long ride has been part of my schedule for so long that I will probably get withdrawal symptoms. Orrr not. To be honest I couldn't be happier. The getting up at 7am, packing, preparing the bike, cycling in all weathers for 4/5/6 hours is beginning to get tedious. It isn't fun or exciting anymore, it isn't something I look forward to. It has become a bit of a chore. Last week I was meant to have a 5 hour. It was chucking it down. Within 15 minutes I was soaked through and cold, and I just thought, I've had enough, not doing it. I just turned around and went home. And I didn't particularly feel guilty about it either. I just snapped, and did not want to carry on and make myself unhappy, angry, and completely miserable for 5 hours. Anyone who has read previous posts will know that I despise cycling in the rain, and I also get very stroppy when cold.
I had intended to get up at 6.30am this morning, and be back for 12.30. My alarm went off and I didn't hear it. The next thing I knew was when the phone started ringing. I jolted awake, opened one eye and saw it was my friend (and fellow cycling buddy). I answered, and bless her, she was phoning to make sure that I was up, because she knew that this was the last big one. She also knew of my atrocious sleeping patterns, insomnia and just general inability to get out of the bed. In my defense, it really isn't laziness, I am a very bad sleeper, and last night it was 3am before I dropped off. Waking up 3 and a half hours later to cycle for 6 hours REALLY wasn't going to happen. It takes me so long to sleep that when I finally do I am so tired that I don't hear the alarm, or I switch it off and roll over without even realising it.
She insisted I get right out of the bed before she went, and that was actually a pretty good tactic. If I'd still been in the bed the quilt would have been back over my head before I'd even said bye.
So anyway, I got up, went upstairs and sat staring into space while robotically chewing my muesli, trying to feel psyched. Cycling really was the last thing I wanted to do.
I got the bike ready and set off. A few friends who are also doing Outlaw were doing loops, so my plan was to cycle out there, do a loop on my own, meet them for one loop, then cycle home again.
I was taking one isotonic gel every 30 minutes. That does seem to work ok for me. By the time I was on the 12th one though it really wasn't an appetising prospect. Someone suggested a cheese and rocket sandwich, which sounds mighty fine to me, but how am I meant to carry that?! The marathon will be an unknown, obviously I haven't been running at all, so haven't been able to practice. I'm just planning to eat whatever they give me at the feed stations!
By mile 55 my knees really started to ache. By mile 60 I started to feel really knackered and fed up. Which worried me slightly. I shouldn't really be feeling knackered and fed up until around 75.. It was too early to feel so bad! I needn't have worried, because by mile 75 I just felt awful. Usually these feelings pass, you get ups and downs. But I can honestly say it didn't pass. I continued to feel completely awful until I got home, which was mile 90. I am assuming (and hoping) that this was because I am tired and not 100% anyway, and also that the way home is quite undulating, which isn't great when you have burning quads. I felt quite disheartened by how bad I felt. Now, lets go run a marathon.......!!!
At least my bits didn't hurt TOO much. The reason for that is because I am now the proud owner of some Assos shorts. I've saved up for ages, and today was our first outing. They are very comfortable, and did make quite a difference, but still not sure I can justify the cost! Or maybe I can. I've suffered with saddle sores the whole time I've been training for this, so I think my bits deserve some TLC now!
I've never been happier to see my back door. I got in, and went and sat in the bath for half an hour with a protein shake. I do feel huge relief that the bulk of it is over. I'm looking forward to next week and my ''long'' ride of 2 hours! :)
Jesus, nearly there.... 3 weeks and counting!
I'm just going to quickly add a bit about the naked group of people I saw standing at the side of the road....
Actually that isn't true, it was just to keep your attention whilst I say my bit about charity. I do really dislike asking people for money, it feels really impolite, hence why I never do sponsorship. But this year is the one year that I am. As previous readers will know, I lost my Nan last year, (it's a year on Saturday actually) and I wanted to raise a bit of money to help the Nottingham City Hospital Chemotherapy Department, where she was treated. If everyone reading this gave just £1 it'd all add up and really help. Please support a fantastic cause. God forbid, but we or people we care for may need them someday. There's a link at the top of the page. Ta!
The long ride has been part of my schedule for so long that I will probably get withdrawal symptoms. Orrr not. To be honest I couldn't be happier. The getting up at 7am, packing, preparing the bike, cycling in all weathers for 4/5/6 hours is beginning to get tedious. It isn't fun or exciting anymore, it isn't something I look forward to. It has become a bit of a chore. Last week I was meant to have a 5 hour. It was chucking it down. Within 15 minutes I was soaked through and cold, and I just thought, I've had enough, not doing it. I just turned around and went home. And I didn't particularly feel guilty about it either. I just snapped, and did not want to carry on and make myself unhappy, angry, and completely miserable for 5 hours. Anyone who has read previous posts will know that I despise cycling in the rain, and I also get very stroppy when cold.
I had intended to get up at 6.30am this morning, and be back for 12.30. My alarm went off and I didn't hear it. The next thing I knew was when the phone started ringing. I jolted awake, opened one eye and saw it was my friend (and fellow cycling buddy). I answered, and bless her, she was phoning to make sure that I was up, because she knew that this was the last big one. She also knew of my atrocious sleeping patterns, insomnia and just general inability to get out of the bed. In my defense, it really isn't laziness, I am a very bad sleeper, and last night it was 3am before I dropped off. Waking up 3 and a half hours later to cycle for 6 hours REALLY wasn't going to happen. It takes me so long to sleep that when I finally do I am so tired that I don't hear the alarm, or I switch it off and roll over without even realising it.
She insisted I get right out of the bed before she went, and that was actually a pretty good tactic. If I'd still been in the bed the quilt would have been back over my head before I'd even said bye.
So anyway, I got up, went upstairs and sat staring into space while robotically chewing my muesli, trying to feel psyched. Cycling really was the last thing I wanted to do.
I got the bike ready and set off. A few friends who are also doing Outlaw were doing loops, so my plan was to cycle out there, do a loop on my own, meet them for one loop, then cycle home again.
I was taking one isotonic gel every 30 minutes. That does seem to work ok for me. By the time I was on the 12th one though it really wasn't an appetising prospect. Someone suggested a cheese and rocket sandwich, which sounds mighty fine to me, but how am I meant to carry that?! The marathon will be an unknown, obviously I haven't been running at all, so haven't been able to practice. I'm just planning to eat whatever they give me at the feed stations!
By mile 55 my knees really started to ache. By mile 60 I started to feel really knackered and fed up. Which worried me slightly. I shouldn't really be feeling knackered and fed up until around 75.. It was too early to feel so bad! I needn't have worried, because by mile 75 I just felt awful. Usually these feelings pass, you get ups and downs. But I can honestly say it didn't pass. I continued to feel completely awful until I got home, which was mile 90. I am assuming (and hoping) that this was because I am tired and not 100% anyway, and also that the way home is quite undulating, which isn't great when you have burning quads. I felt quite disheartened by how bad I felt. Now, lets go run a marathon.......!!!
At least my bits didn't hurt TOO much. The reason for that is because I am now the proud owner of some Assos shorts. I've saved up for ages, and today was our first outing. They are very comfortable, and did make quite a difference, but still not sure I can justify the cost! Or maybe I can. I've suffered with saddle sores the whole time I've been training for this, so I think my bits deserve some TLC now!
I've never been happier to see my back door. I got in, and went and sat in the bath for half an hour with a protein shake. I do feel huge relief that the bulk of it is over. I'm looking forward to next week and my ''long'' ride of 2 hours! :)
Jesus, nearly there.... 3 weeks and counting!
I'm just going to quickly add a bit about the naked group of people I saw standing at the side of the road....
Actually that isn't true, it was just to keep your attention whilst I say my bit about charity. I do really dislike asking people for money, it feels really impolite, hence why I never do sponsorship. But this year is the one year that I am. As previous readers will know, I lost my Nan last year, (it's a year on Saturday actually) and I wanted to raise a bit of money to help the Nottingham City Hospital Chemotherapy Department, where she was treated. If everyone reading this gave just £1 it'd all add up and really help. Please support a fantastic cause. God forbid, but we or people we care for may need them someday. There's a link at the top of the page. Ta!
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Patriotism, Pride, And Persistence.
4 weeks to go! I actually can't believe it's almost here. In one way I'm just terrified and want it to stay away, but the other part of me can't wait for it. Or the day after when I can claim bragging rights for the rest of my life.
I have gone through it in my mind so many times, but I don't think anything I can imagine will come close to the reality.
What I am looking forward to is being able to say ''Yes'' when someone asks me to do something that involves being out after 9pm, or away for the weekend, rather than ''Sorry I can't, how would I do my 5 hour bike ride?''
Even simple things like sport for fun I can't do because it's wasting valuable energy or putting myself at risk of injury. I can't play on the trampoline or rollerblade with my cousin at the moment. If I fell off or landed in the wrong way the last 6 months would be out the window. Call me paranoid but having knackered shins and a sore shoulder already and clinging on to compete as it is I won't be risking it!!
Heaven knows what it must be like for olympians. Putting your heart and soul into your training for 4 years.. and if something goes wrong it's another 4 years before you can try again. It shows that the link between mind and body truly matters, if you don't have the right attitude and mental strength you won't get anywhere.
I must say I am enjoying seeing the Union Flag everywhere. Sadly our St. George flag seems to be simultaneously associated with racism and football hooliganism now. I am ashamed of my country at times, particularly when I go abroad and see us behaving appallingly, but that is a minority, it isn't just who we are, there are many wonderful people and traditions to be proud of here. I am not particularly in favour of the Queen, but nor am I against her. She has her place in our culture and heritage and brings a lot of tourism to the country. I admire her still carrying out her duties at the age of 86, and still doing it with grace and good manners. I often read about the latest celebration or parade or whatever and think that she must be bored of soldiers on horses, singing school kids and the same old questions by now. With power comes great responsibility. She does her job well. And I'd sure as hell rather have Her Maj than a President Cameron!! That doesn't bear thinking about!
It's lovely to see people coming together and having pride in where they're from. Or just enjoying the extra day off she's given us! I hope the olympics bring that sense of pride too. I for one can't wait. I will be on the streets of Nottingham cheering with my Union Flag and my daft glasses when the torch passes through, and I'll be at the celebrations too. I'm also going to watch the cycling at Box Hill in Surrey.
I know a lot of people think the olympics is a waste of money and our resources, and I can see the point that people find it hard to get excited about sport when they're struggling to afford food and clothes, but sport unites us, it inspires us, and it gives us dreams and ambitions. It enables us to push our boundaries and limitations like nothing else. And there isn't a price you can put on that.
I remember watching Linford Christie and Sally Gunnell when I was a young child, and I wanted to run. When Gladiators was in its prime every child in the country wanted to be one! My brother and I would have duel and climbing contests on the wall outside. -The loser would get shoved down the stairs in our laundry basket.. he is 7 years younger than me, so guess who won-
Watching and reading about Bruce Lee inspired me to begin martial arts.
I wanted to be like my heroes. 19 years later, I still do.
Persistance will get me through the 1st July. My goal is to finish. My injuries have knocked my confidence and made it hard for me to know what to expect, particularly in terms of the run and swim, but one thing I am completely sure of is my mental strength, and commitment to completing it. I will not quit.
And when I get that Outlaw medal put around my neck, it will be my own personal Olympic gold :)
I have gone through it in my mind so many times, but I don't think anything I can imagine will come close to the reality.
What I am looking forward to is being able to say ''Yes'' when someone asks me to do something that involves being out after 9pm, or away for the weekend, rather than ''Sorry I can't, how would I do my 5 hour bike ride?''
Even simple things like sport for fun I can't do because it's wasting valuable energy or putting myself at risk of injury. I can't play on the trampoline or rollerblade with my cousin at the moment. If I fell off or landed in the wrong way the last 6 months would be out the window. Call me paranoid but having knackered shins and a sore shoulder already and clinging on to compete as it is I won't be risking it!!
Heaven knows what it must be like for olympians. Putting your heart and soul into your training for 4 years.. and if something goes wrong it's another 4 years before you can try again. It shows that the link between mind and body truly matters, if you don't have the right attitude and mental strength you won't get anywhere.
I must say I am enjoying seeing the Union Flag everywhere. Sadly our St. George flag seems to be simultaneously associated with racism and football hooliganism now. I am ashamed of my country at times, particularly when I go abroad and see us behaving appallingly, but that is a minority, it isn't just who we are, there are many wonderful people and traditions to be proud of here. I am not particularly in favour of the Queen, but nor am I against her. She has her place in our culture and heritage and brings a lot of tourism to the country. I admire her still carrying out her duties at the age of 86, and still doing it with grace and good manners. I often read about the latest celebration or parade or whatever and think that she must be bored of soldiers on horses, singing school kids and the same old questions by now. With power comes great responsibility. She does her job well. And I'd sure as hell rather have Her Maj than a President Cameron!! That doesn't bear thinking about!
It's lovely to see people coming together and having pride in where they're from. Or just enjoying the extra day off she's given us! I hope the olympics bring that sense of pride too. I for one can't wait. I will be on the streets of Nottingham cheering with my Union Flag and my daft glasses when the torch passes through, and I'll be at the celebrations too. I'm also going to watch the cycling at Box Hill in Surrey.
I know a lot of people think the olympics is a waste of money and our resources, and I can see the point that people find it hard to get excited about sport when they're struggling to afford food and clothes, but sport unites us, it inspires us, and it gives us dreams and ambitions. It enables us to push our boundaries and limitations like nothing else. And there isn't a price you can put on that.
I remember watching Linford Christie and Sally Gunnell when I was a young child, and I wanted to run. When Gladiators was in its prime every child in the country wanted to be one! My brother and I would have duel and climbing contests on the wall outside. -The loser would get shoved down the stairs in our laundry basket.. he is 7 years younger than me, so guess who won-
Watching and reading about Bruce Lee inspired me to begin martial arts.
I wanted to be like my heroes. 19 years later, I still do.
Persistance will get me through the 1st July. My goal is to finish. My injuries have knocked my confidence and made it hard for me to know what to expect, particularly in terms of the run and swim, but one thing I am completely sure of is my mental strength, and commitment to completing it. I will not quit.
And when I get that Outlaw medal put around my neck, it will be my own personal Olympic gold :)
Friday, 25 May 2012
It's all about the bike..
The week after Mallorca and a lot of resting meant a lot of spare time.
I'm so used to either training, preparing for training, sleeping from training, eating for training, preparing food for before/after training, packing for training, travelling to training, talking about training, thinking about training that almost 2 weeks off doing anything particularly strenuous was really strange!!
I started to obsess and think that my fitness was slipping away. I imagined I'd get back on the bike and just crumple. I went out on Tuesday and did 78 miles, and I didn't crumple. I remember a blog I wrote months ago (Arguments, the P word, and a VERY big hill) referring to Oxton hill. Riding it on Tuesday I honestly got to the top and thought, 'That can't be it, thought it was much bigger!?' Talk about progress!! Not saying I'd want to go up it again just for fun, but I do remember how hard it was all that time ago.
Had my first brush with death Tuesday too. I have often heard stories from others about car drivers and cyclists, but have never really had any bad experiences myself. Just the odd beep and shout, but nothing actually dangerous.
On Tuesday my friend was a few metres in front of me, and a massive 12 wheeler decided it would be a good idea to try and squeeze past her just as he approached a bollard. This made him pull right in, put his brakes on and almost push me under his wheels. I had to swerve into the kerb to avoid being squashed. I tell you, I was terrified. It was extremely close, I was very lucky. He then had the nerve to flash his lights and sound his horn very sarcastically, whilst shouting some obscene insult through the window. I find it appalling that he almost killed me, yet still thought he was in the right. Surely it's better just to be patient and wait until it's safe instead of risking killing someone?! My whole body was shaking, I could barely pedal. My friend did make me laugh though, she's quite a respected and articulate woman, and also tiny and really petite looking, absolutely not someone who you would expect to swear. She cycled almost into the middle of the road before giving him the good old two finger salute! Even through my shock I started giggling. Then I got really angry. What a complete moron. I wouldn't say I'm scared of riding on the roads, I'm very aware of what's going on around me and I'm careful, but it has shaken me I think. Whilst out today I tensed when lorries were passing, and I actually pulled over and stopped twice to let them pass, worried that they would become impatient and push past.
We need the same laws here as Spain have to protect cyclists, it is an absolute pleasure cycling there, the drivers are really courteous and give you loads of room. Trying not to think about the 1500 Outlaw cyclists on the roads in a few weeks and the attitudes of the cars!!
On the theme of the bike I decided to change my tyres last night. Good practice, I thought. Have never done anything like that before. I undid the wheel, stuck a lever under the tyre, and pulled, tugged, yanked. It wouldn't budge. Wanted to chuck the whole thing out the window. My fingers were red raw and almost bleeding! I couldn't go all pathetic and ask someone to help, because there was no one else there. Apart from the dog. And he's no use, he doesn't even make me a cup of tea when I get in, despite me asking him. So I did it. And then, not to be beaten, I did the other one too. By the end of it I was sweaty, knackered, and panting! And there was me thinking the swim bike run was the difficult bit! I will be offering daily gifts and worship to the Puncture Demon to ensure it leaves me well alone.
Arriving home today after my ride I realised my wheel was clunking onto the frame. After fiddling about a bit pretending I had a clue what I was doing I noticed I've got a loose spoke. I haven't got the tool you need to tighten that so will be taking it to the shop again asap.
Mechanics is a bit like technology. Completely over my head. I just want to get on the thing and ride it!!
Did feel extremely satisfied when the new tyres were on though. Especially as they are a pretty blue colour and match the frame. (EVERYTHING must match) When I was in Mallorca the first thing I noticed was that the colour scheme perfectly matched my TT bike. The bottles and bike shirts are a really nice pale blue colour, and I was so excited that I'd found lycra and bottles to match that bike! Obviously though then I couldn't get them, because I didn't do the race. Next year maybe... I have unfinished business there, and I want that top!!!
Have managed to accumulate a really attractive cyclists suntan, with brown knees, brown hands, strange brown marks on my wrists, and sunglasses marks on my face. I don't like the sun on my skin, so wear long sleeves and factor 50, but obviously I have sweated it off. Waterproof cream is on my list for July.
I'd say now that I'm swinging between being confident and feeling I absolutely can do it, to going the opposite way and being terrified I won't even make the swim. My shoulder is getting better, it still twinges and aches if I go too hard, but I did 50 minutes continuous on Wednesday with no pain.
I have a friend who is a massage therapist, and she is giving me weekly massages to loosen it off and get me to the line.
If I make the start, I will make the finish, simply because I am not a person who gives up.
Read that the race is going to be broadcast on channel 4, which I think is great, Tri doesn't generally get much coverage, and if it is on telly it's on some obscure channel at 2am. I'll be waving. I'm also planning on orange nail varnish to match my lycra.
Trying not to think about the marathon and the fact I haven't run for months. Trying not to think about the bike either actually. Or the fact that the lake is enormous. In fact, I won't think about any of it.
Live in the moment :)
I'm so used to either training, preparing for training, sleeping from training, eating for training, preparing food for before/after training, packing for training, travelling to training, talking about training, thinking about training that almost 2 weeks off doing anything particularly strenuous was really strange!!
I started to obsess and think that my fitness was slipping away. I imagined I'd get back on the bike and just crumple. I went out on Tuesday and did 78 miles, and I didn't crumple. I remember a blog I wrote months ago (Arguments, the P word, and a VERY big hill) referring to Oxton hill. Riding it on Tuesday I honestly got to the top and thought, 'That can't be it, thought it was much bigger!?' Talk about progress!! Not saying I'd want to go up it again just for fun, but I do remember how hard it was all that time ago.
Had my first brush with death Tuesday too. I have often heard stories from others about car drivers and cyclists, but have never really had any bad experiences myself. Just the odd beep and shout, but nothing actually dangerous.
On Tuesday my friend was a few metres in front of me, and a massive 12 wheeler decided it would be a good idea to try and squeeze past her just as he approached a bollard. This made him pull right in, put his brakes on and almost push me under his wheels. I had to swerve into the kerb to avoid being squashed. I tell you, I was terrified. It was extremely close, I was very lucky. He then had the nerve to flash his lights and sound his horn very sarcastically, whilst shouting some obscene insult through the window. I find it appalling that he almost killed me, yet still thought he was in the right. Surely it's better just to be patient and wait until it's safe instead of risking killing someone?! My whole body was shaking, I could barely pedal. My friend did make me laugh though, she's quite a respected and articulate woman, and also tiny and really petite looking, absolutely not someone who you would expect to swear. She cycled almost into the middle of the road before giving him the good old two finger salute! Even through my shock I started giggling. Then I got really angry. What a complete moron. I wouldn't say I'm scared of riding on the roads, I'm very aware of what's going on around me and I'm careful, but it has shaken me I think. Whilst out today I tensed when lorries were passing, and I actually pulled over and stopped twice to let them pass, worried that they would become impatient and push past.
We need the same laws here as Spain have to protect cyclists, it is an absolute pleasure cycling there, the drivers are really courteous and give you loads of room. Trying not to think about the 1500 Outlaw cyclists on the roads in a few weeks and the attitudes of the cars!!
On the theme of the bike I decided to change my tyres last night. Good practice, I thought. Have never done anything like that before. I undid the wheel, stuck a lever under the tyre, and pulled, tugged, yanked. It wouldn't budge. Wanted to chuck the whole thing out the window. My fingers were red raw and almost bleeding! I couldn't go all pathetic and ask someone to help, because there was no one else there. Apart from the dog. And he's no use, he doesn't even make me a cup of tea when I get in, despite me asking him. So I did it. And then, not to be beaten, I did the other one too. By the end of it I was sweaty, knackered, and panting! And there was me thinking the swim bike run was the difficult bit! I will be offering daily gifts and worship to the Puncture Demon to ensure it leaves me well alone.
Arriving home today after my ride I realised my wheel was clunking onto the frame. After fiddling about a bit pretending I had a clue what I was doing I noticed I've got a loose spoke. I haven't got the tool you need to tighten that so will be taking it to the shop again asap.
Mechanics is a bit like technology. Completely over my head. I just want to get on the thing and ride it!!
Did feel extremely satisfied when the new tyres were on though. Especially as they are a pretty blue colour and match the frame. (EVERYTHING must match) When I was in Mallorca the first thing I noticed was that the colour scheme perfectly matched my TT bike. The bottles and bike shirts are a really nice pale blue colour, and I was so excited that I'd found lycra and bottles to match that bike! Obviously though then I couldn't get them, because I didn't do the race. Next year maybe... I have unfinished business there, and I want that top!!!
Have managed to accumulate a really attractive cyclists suntan, with brown knees, brown hands, strange brown marks on my wrists, and sunglasses marks on my face. I don't like the sun on my skin, so wear long sleeves and factor 50, but obviously I have sweated it off. Waterproof cream is on my list for July.
I'd say now that I'm swinging between being confident and feeling I absolutely can do it, to going the opposite way and being terrified I won't even make the swim. My shoulder is getting better, it still twinges and aches if I go too hard, but I did 50 minutes continuous on Wednesday with no pain.
I have a friend who is a massage therapist, and she is giving me weekly massages to loosen it off and get me to the line.
If I make the start, I will make the finish, simply because I am not a person who gives up.
Read that the race is going to be broadcast on channel 4, which I think is great, Tri doesn't generally get much coverage, and if it is on telly it's on some obscure channel at 2am. I'll be waving. I'm also planning on orange nail varnish to match my lycra.
Trying not to think about the marathon and the fact I haven't run for months. Trying not to think about the bike either actually. Or the fact that the lake is enormous. In fact, I won't think about any of it.
Live in the moment :)
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Ironman Mallorca 70.3... Whatever It Takes
Day 1.
After one thing and another that had led to a difficult few weeks I was doubtful to say the least about even going to Mallorca, never mind racing. My shoulder was sending a sharp pain my way with even the slightest movement, accompanied by a dull ache that actually made me want to just take my arm off and put it in the bin.
I was taking ibuprofen every 4 hours, which showed how bad it was, I'm the sort of person who won't even take a pill for a headache. I think if you mask pain with tablets you lose perspective on how bad it actually is, which is dangerous, because then you can think ''ooh I'm ok'', and go and do a half Ironman. But aside from the shoulder issue and the shin splints, I still wasn't ok. For a start I'd only had 12 hours sleep in 3 days, I felt generally knackered, and my resting heart rate on the morning of departure was 88. It is usually 49. ''Oh dear'', I thought. Something is wrong here.
I spoke to the friends I was travelling with, and several friends I wasn't, and they all generally said that maybe I should still go, as the rest would do me good, even if I couldn't race. I'm not the kind of person who really enjoys holidays for ''rest'', but I didn't want to let everyone down, and anyway, maybe I'd be ok??? So feeling utterly shite I chucked a load of stuff in my case and tried to get motivated about what lay ahead.
After insomnia and shoulder twinges treated me to just 3 hours sleep again, and what felt like a loooong journey to Spain, I arrived at the villa with a heavy heart, because I knew there was a real possibility I wouldn't be racing. I was absolutely shattered, and I just lay there in pain, clutching my shoulder and watching my friend put my bike together for me.
Day 2.
In the morning some of us decided to have a quick ride on the bikes to check they were all working ok and built up properly. I was a bit apprehensive about my arm, but was also looking forward to doing something, hadn't been able to ride since the 100 miler a few weeks ago. The ride was good until after about 60 minutes, at which my shoulder began to ache awfully. Then my fingers went numb. Not good. Also not good was the fact that we were lost. One member of the group insisted he had ''a feeling it was this way'', but unfortunately his feeling was wrong. As was the one after that, and the one after that. And... the one after that too. By this time the whole of my shoulder had seized, and the pain was spreading. He refused to seek help (what is it with men and directions??!!) saying that ''getting lost is the fun bit''.
Honestly, if I hadn't have had a numb hand it would have been wrapped around his neck.
(Love you really :p)
Eventually I sat down at the side of the road while they went down another way to see if it was correct. During that time a group from GI Tri who I had chatted to at the airport came past, and seeing me sitting at the side of the road they very kindly stopped to see if I was ok. At that point I was given the signal that we were indeed back on track, and got myself back on the bike and back home. Just. I could barely grip the bars and I began to realise I could have done something quite bad.
Our friends who hadn't joined us on the ride asked how it had been and I was embarrassed to find I literally couldn't speak, I was so choked up. Trying to keep a lid on it, I answered with ''shit, just shit'', and then went to sit outside to try and get a grip. They all looked at each other with worried expressions and left me to it.
After a shower and a talking to from myself it was down to the sea for a test swim. I obviously couldn't join in, so I sat on the beach with a book and watched the bags. Actually I watched the people. Sunglasses are great, no one can see where you're looking, and you can pretend to read whilst gawking to your hearts content.
There were quite a few people on the beach with wetsuits, who were obviously there for the race. And they were seriously FIT. The men were muscular, toned, tanned, smooth, not an ounce of fat anywhere. The women were the same. Triathletes. 'Proper' triathletes. The buoys had already been set out, and they were swimming the entire course. As I looked on in awe another set of people appeared in my line of vision, and began changing.
This was something I was not expecting. Now imagine, on one side, we have uber fit muscular athletes, the epitome of the human body at its best. And the other side? The chain smoking, lager swilling, fat, huge, no, actually morbidly obese group. And what, dear readers, do these people wear? Yes, you've got it, the smallest swimwear one can buy!! Bikinis for the women and speedos for the men, tiny outfits in garish colours straining to hold in the rolls and rolls of dough spilling from all sides, and with trying to rein in enough cellulite to cover Japan the bikini bottoms had given up even trying, and become thongs. Jesus Christ. I have never ever seen anything like it in my life. I'm all for body acceptance and loving oneself that but that was wrong. I was glad when it was time to go, the Moby Dick Show wasn't as fun to observe as Baywatch had been.
Day 3.
Registration day. Woke with a resting heart rate of 65. Better, but still way above my average. I was still on the ibuprofen, and still holding out hope of being ok.
At registration, we saw the set up for the first time. And it was absolutely impossible not to get excited. There were people from all over the world there, all ready to race, all psyched up, all speaking the international language of triathlon. The tattoos people had reflected their passion. 'M Dot' was everywhere. I also saw the Triathlon England logo, the Outlaw logo, Steelman logo.
While I don't know I'd go as far as to have a tattoo, it was a truly magical atmosphere, there was definitely an energy in the air.
Ironman is a global brand, and for the first time I really understood why. I'm usually not a fan of marketing and pushing branding down peoples throats, but here it probably deserves it's reputation. They are meticulously organised and planned, and make you feel you are really part of something special. The stuff you get is not cheap, the bags were well made, similar to ones you would spend round £15 on in a shop, and I was ridiculously happy with my swim hat, because it was quality I knew I could wear it again. The free food and drink at the race briefing. Covers for your bike. Super tight security. The small things just added up and made you feel you were part of something big.
The t.shirts had slogans like ''Tough times don't last, Tough people do'' ''Whatever it takes'' and ''No limits''. Words like Dedication, Commitment, Power, Hope, Dreams, and Determination were everywhere. I loved it. I wanted to be part of this, I wanted to do myself proud, do this race and reflect these characteristics.
I got completely caught up in the whole thing and pushed my doubts to the back of my mind. I had cut down the ibuprofen and my shoulder still ached a little bit, but it was definitely improving.
Day 4.
Resting Heart rate of 62. Got my wetsuit on and swum a few lengths in the pool. I felt a slight twinge but nothing really bad.
In the afternoon we went to rack our bikes, and drop off our red and blue transition bags. The weather was scorching hot, another factor in what was already quite a tough race. I had reasoned that I would be walking the half marathon, obviously I can't run because I have shin splints. The swim would possibly be slower than usual, but if I took ibuprofen before I could get through it. The bike would be ok, climbing the mountain would be hard, but again, I could do it. It is amazing the lengths of denial you can go to. But there is no getting away from that voice inside, the voice of reason that tells you you are being a prat. All day that voice was making itself known, and it translated into a physical feeling. I literally felt ''a weight on my shoulders''. I made every excuse under the sun for why I could do that race.
I may be ok.
You have to take the chance while you have it.
I'm injured anyway, so if I have to pull out of the Outlaw, at least I'll have done this and not lost both.
I want that medal.
I'll stop if it hurts.
I can just take some pills beforehand- it'll be fine.
I won't make the cutoff times for the Outlaw anyway, I'm not fit enough, I'll do this instead, it's easier.
I'll just take it easy, I'll be fine.
I''ll be fine.
I'll be fine.
Unfortunately there is no getting away from that inner voice. That inner voice is my intuition, and is there to protect and guide me. I still felt really troubled, and I knew exactly why. I was troubled because I was not listening.
Without going into the ins and outs of my anatomy I had also started quite a painful period, and my stomach swelled to twice the size. Women reading this will know that is definitely not a good thing to happen on race day. Men just imagine food poisoning type cramps. It makes it almost impossible to bend. 4 hours on a TT bike would not be pleasant. Nor would squeezing stomach into tight shorts/wetsuit. Sods Law or what!?
I turned to reading a book I had with me called A Deeper Surrender. I'm not going to get all preachy here, but I do have an interest in Buddhist philosophy, and I am a very reflective and spiritual person. I read some of that book to try and give me some clarity and perspective. We all know not doing a race is not the end of the world. It's exercise, it's swimming, biking, running. That's it. I don't have a serious life threatening illness, I am not in the middle of a war zone, or in any other atrocious situation some people have.
But- to me it isn't just exercise. It's an expression and something I put a hell of a lot of time and energy into. Everything that is me goes into my training, and on that day is when it all comes together, and I stretch my limits just a little bit more. Training is also the one time when my mind is completely clear of all the other day to day crap that life brings our way. It is a very important part of my life.
As I retired to bed I received a message from my coach, asking me of my decision. I answered, saying I would do the race but also said about my reservations. He asked me if I wanted his advice. I knew before he even answered what he was going to say.
When I got the message, reading the bit that said ''deep down you know what is right'', was the most difficult bit. Because deep down of course I knew what was right, doing this race in the state I was in would be complete madness, and I would risk my injuries, my general health, the Outlaw, and even not finishing in the first place. Silent tears streamed from my eyes as I lay there, because I realised I wouldn't be starting the event I had entered 6 months earlier.
RACE DAY
Alarm went off at 5am. I went into the kitchen and silently got my breakfast, letting my friends prepare, and then I broke the news that I wouldn't be competing.
Another of the group had pulled out with a chest infection, so I wouldn't be alone all day.
We headed to transition for last minute checks to the bikes, and then to the swim start. Females went first, there were only 400 women out of 2,500 participants.
Seeing my three friends off was nerve racking to say the least, it was kind of like what I imagine sending your kids off to school on their first day is like!! Are they ok, have they got their hats, have they lubed up to prevent wetsuit chafe, hope they won't get kicked in the chops, etc
Whilst we were stood waiting for their waves to go I saw a man who had been warming up in the water who I recognised. He looked so familiar, but I couldn't place him. He stood right next to me chatting to his friend, then suddenly ran off. When he appeared again later followed by a camera crew I realised he was a pro triathlete, it was a magazine I recognised him from, and he went on to win the race in a most impressive 3.58. Quite a surreal moment. I mean, you don't go to a football match and stand next to David Beckham do you?!
When you exit the water you aren't thinking straight. You're giddy, nervous, and a bit all over the place. That may explain why one of our group whipped off her hat and goggles, and for some reason only known to her with some force she threw them at us to catch but missed and smacked the German woman standing next to us full in the face with them instead. I couldn't help giggling my head off, as did the American woman at the side of us, but German lady was not a happy bunny, and handed them back in disgust, before tutting loudly. She wiped the hat water off her face and flicked it to the floor whilst staring, which made me laugh even harder.
There were loads of people watching. I noticed a little girl building sandcastles on the beach wearing a pink t.shirt that said ''When I grow up I want to be an Ironman''. Arhh. Gotta love their marketing effect again, but still so much nicer than a WAG or a pop star or a wannabe whatever like most kids nowadays.
With the swim out of the way, we watched the pros come in, with me sitting by a psychotic yorkshire terrier who did NOT like bikes, then went to get a drink, and more importantly, get out of the sun. It was so hot. And getting hotter by the minute.
When we came back out the first wave of people were coming out onto the run.
Watching I was quite taken aback at the variety of people. Different ages, shapes, sizes, appearances are very deceiving. Run styles are fascinating to watch. Some people plod, some people tiptoe, some people flap their arms. I saw one man who looked like a trotting horse. Seriously.
Whilst we were having lunch we saw each of our group pass, which was reassuring. They all looked good, well, as good as you can do under those circumstances. They didn't look ill, thats what I mean. I screamed and whooped at the top of my voice forgetting I was in a restaurant. I didn't care though, I wanted them to know we were there for them, and they were doing well.
When we went to the finish line to wait there were some truly heart warming scenes. People crying. Running over the line with their kids. People who were injured (from falling off bike I assume) hobbling down the finish chute. One person after another, arms raised, sometimes a sprint finish, sometimes a barely a walk. Some waving their countries flag, some yelling, happy to have a PB, some high fiving, some not speaking or even looking up, so focussed on getting to that line. People united in pain, in pushing to the limit, in an achievement that was once only a dream, but now a reality. I was completely overwhelmed by it all.
When I saw each of my friends come round that corner my eyes filled with tears. It's an indescribable moment. Maybe because I know how hard they have trained, how much they have worked for it, and how determined they all are. I gave each of them a huge hug, and told them I was proud of them. And I am. I'm privileged to know such determined and focussed people. That day was not easy. They trained for months in some horrendous weather, (ice, wind, rain, I remember it well) fought through illness, and finally got here and swum in the sea for 1.2 miles, cycled up a huge mountain with a hairpin descent for 56 miles, then did a 13.1 mile run in a temperature of 31c. That is pretty inspiring. They are inspiring.
After getting back to the villa we had a lovely dinner, then I went off to have a shower. I did feel bad, I felt like a complete failure for an hour or two, but I didn't want to show that to them, I wanted them to have their moment of glory, it was well deserved. I gave myself some space, texted some friends from home, and then went back out and enjoyed the evening and the race day stories.
Day 6.
Day 6 was spent relaxing and recovering. I put my wetsuit on again and did a few lengths, shoulder twinged a bit but nothing too awful. Almost everyone staying the villa had some kind of illness. Chest infection, cold, cough, sore throat. I became completely paranoid that I would get it. After all this injury the last thing I need would to be out for weeks with that. I kept putting my hand over my face!
Day 7.
Decided to try a bike ride today. I cycled the mountain on the bike course. Up, not down. When I got to the top I just turned and came back the same way. One reason being I was worried I'd get lost, and the other is because a hairpin descent would be too much pressure on my shoulder. I told myself I'd stop if it started to hurt, but it was ok. It was my knees that hurt, not my arms! Got to get a granny gear on the TT bike if I'm going up mountains!! The view was stunning. So was the descent, if a bit scary!
I made the right choice not doing the race. It would have put waaay too much pressure on my arms. I was also shattered when I got back, and had only done 40 miles. I'm better than last week, but still not 100%. I dread to think what state I'd be in if I'd done it.
Day 8.
So, back at home.. what are my thoughts now? My shoulder is not painful as such, but is still twinging if I apply too much pressure. It is on my mind a lot, especially now the Outlaw is only weeks away. My shins are still splintered. I cannot run. But... I will do what I need to do to get there. And part of doing that means respecting my body and healing. I was gutted to miss out on 70.3, and emotional turmoil is putting it lightly! It was almost impossible to know what to do for the best. And it's hard to feel like you are giving up something you have worked for. But giving up isn't what I did. The Outlaw is my goal for this year, and even if I don't recover in time to do it, or things don't go as planned, at least I will know that I have done everything within my power to make it a possibility. Anything beyond that is out of my control. I'll just have to see. But I will get there.
Whatever it takes.
After one thing and another that had led to a difficult few weeks I was doubtful to say the least about even going to Mallorca, never mind racing. My shoulder was sending a sharp pain my way with even the slightest movement, accompanied by a dull ache that actually made me want to just take my arm off and put it in the bin.
I was taking ibuprofen every 4 hours, which showed how bad it was, I'm the sort of person who won't even take a pill for a headache. I think if you mask pain with tablets you lose perspective on how bad it actually is, which is dangerous, because then you can think ''ooh I'm ok'', and go and do a half Ironman. But aside from the shoulder issue and the shin splints, I still wasn't ok. For a start I'd only had 12 hours sleep in 3 days, I felt generally knackered, and my resting heart rate on the morning of departure was 88. It is usually 49. ''Oh dear'', I thought. Something is wrong here.
I spoke to the friends I was travelling with, and several friends I wasn't, and they all generally said that maybe I should still go, as the rest would do me good, even if I couldn't race. I'm not the kind of person who really enjoys holidays for ''rest'', but I didn't want to let everyone down, and anyway, maybe I'd be ok??? So feeling utterly shite I chucked a load of stuff in my case and tried to get motivated about what lay ahead.
After insomnia and shoulder twinges treated me to just 3 hours sleep again, and what felt like a loooong journey to Spain, I arrived at the villa with a heavy heart, because I knew there was a real possibility I wouldn't be racing. I was absolutely shattered, and I just lay there in pain, clutching my shoulder and watching my friend put my bike together for me.
Day 2.
In the morning some of us decided to have a quick ride on the bikes to check they were all working ok and built up properly. I was a bit apprehensive about my arm, but was also looking forward to doing something, hadn't been able to ride since the 100 miler a few weeks ago. The ride was good until after about 60 minutes, at which my shoulder began to ache awfully. Then my fingers went numb. Not good. Also not good was the fact that we were lost. One member of the group insisted he had ''a feeling it was this way'', but unfortunately his feeling was wrong. As was the one after that, and the one after that. And... the one after that too. By this time the whole of my shoulder had seized, and the pain was spreading. He refused to seek help (what is it with men and directions??!!) saying that ''getting lost is the fun bit''.
Honestly, if I hadn't have had a numb hand it would have been wrapped around his neck.
(Love you really :p)
Eventually I sat down at the side of the road while they went down another way to see if it was correct. During that time a group from GI Tri who I had chatted to at the airport came past, and seeing me sitting at the side of the road they very kindly stopped to see if I was ok. At that point I was given the signal that we were indeed back on track, and got myself back on the bike and back home. Just. I could barely grip the bars and I began to realise I could have done something quite bad.
Our friends who hadn't joined us on the ride asked how it had been and I was embarrassed to find I literally couldn't speak, I was so choked up. Trying to keep a lid on it, I answered with ''shit, just shit'', and then went to sit outside to try and get a grip. They all looked at each other with worried expressions and left me to it.
After a shower and a talking to from myself it was down to the sea for a test swim. I obviously couldn't join in, so I sat on the beach with a book and watched the bags. Actually I watched the people. Sunglasses are great, no one can see where you're looking, and you can pretend to read whilst gawking to your hearts content.
There were quite a few people on the beach with wetsuits, who were obviously there for the race. And they were seriously FIT. The men were muscular, toned, tanned, smooth, not an ounce of fat anywhere. The women were the same. Triathletes. 'Proper' triathletes. The buoys had already been set out, and they were swimming the entire course. As I looked on in awe another set of people appeared in my line of vision, and began changing.
This was something I was not expecting. Now imagine, on one side, we have uber fit muscular athletes, the epitome of the human body at its best. And the other side? The chain smoking, lager swilling, fat, huge, no, actually morbidly obese group. And what, dear readers, do these people wear? Yes, you've got it, the smallest swimwear one can buy!! Bikinis for the women and speedos for the men, tiny outfits in garish colours straining to hold in the rolls and rolls of dough spilling from all sides, and with trying to rein in enough cellulite to cover Japan the bikini bottoms had given up even trying, and become thongs. Jesus Christ. I have never ever seen anything like it in my life. I'm all for body acceptance and loving oneself that but that was wrong. I was glad when it was time to go, the Moby Dick Show wasn't as fun to observe as Baywatch had been.
Day 3.
Registration day. Woke with a resting heart rate of 65. Better, but still way above my average. I was still on the ibuprofen, and still holding out hope of being ok.
At registration, we saw the set up for the first time. And it was absolutely impossible not to get excited. There were people from all over the world there, all ready to race, all psyched up, all speaking the international language of triathlon. The tattoos people had reflected their passion. 'M Dot' was everywhere. I also saw the Triathlon England logo, the Outlaw logo, Steelman logo.
While I don't know I'd go as far as to have a tattoo, it was a truly magical atmosphere, there was definitely an energy in the air.
Ironman is a global brand, and for the first time I really understood why. I'm usually not a fan of marketing and pushing branding down peoples throats, but here it probably deserves it's reputation. They are meticulously organised and planned, and make you feel you are really part of something special. The stuff you get is not cheap, the bags were well made, similar to ones you would spend round £15 on in a shop, and I was ridiculously happy with my swim hat, because it was quality I knew I could wear it again. The free food and drink at the race briefing. Covers for your bike. Super tight security. The small things just added up and made you feel you were part of something big.
The t.shirts had slogans like ''Tough times don't last, Tough people do'' ''Whatever it takes'' and ''No limits''. Words like Dedication, Commitment, Power, Hope, Dreams, and Determination were everywhere. I loved it. I wanted to be part of this, I wanted to do myself proud, do this race and reflect these characteristics.
I got completely caught up in the whole thing and pushed my doubts to the back of my mind. I had cut down the ibuprofen and my shoulder still ached a little bit, but it was definitely improving.
Day 4.
Resting Heart rate of 62. Got my wetsuit on and swum a few lengths in the pool. I felt a slight twinge but nothing really bad.
In the afternoon we went to rack our bikes, and drop off our red and blue transition bags. The weather was scorching hot, another factor in what was already quite a tough race. I had reasoned that I would be walking the half marathon, obviously I can't run because I have shin splints. The swim would possibly be slower than usual, but if I took ibuprofen before I could get through it. The bike would be ok, climbing the mountain would be hard, but again, I could do it. It is amazing the lengths of denial you can go to. But there is no getting away from that voice inside, the voice of reason that tells you you are being a prat. All day that voice was making itself known, and it translated into a physical feeling. I literally felt ''a weight on my shoulders''. I made every excuse under the sun for why I could do that race.
I may be ok.
You have to take the chance while you have it.
I'm injured anyway, so if I have to pull out of the Outlaw, at least I'll have done this and not lost both.
I want that medal.
I'll stop if it hurts.
I can just take some pills beforehand- it'll be fine.
I won't make the cutoff times for the Outlaw anyway, I'm not fit enough, I'll do this instead, it's easier.
I'll just take it easy, I'll be fine.
I''ll be fine.
I'll be fine.
Unfortunately there is no getting away from that inner voice. That inner voice is my intuition, and is there to protect and guide me. I still felt really troubled, and I knew exactly why. I was troubled because I was not listening.
Without going into the ins and outs of my anatomy I had also started quite a painful period, and my stomach swelled to twice the size. Women reading this will know that is definitely not a good thing to happen on race day. Men just imagine food poisoning type cramps. It makes it almost impossible to bend. 4 hours on a TT bike would not be pleasant. Nor would squeezing stomach into tight shorts/wetsuit. Sods Law or what!?
I turned to reading a book I had with me called A Deeper Surrender. I'm not going to get all preachy here, but I do have an interest in Buddhist philosophy, and I am a very reflective and spiritual person. I read some of that book to try and give me some clarity and perspective. We all know not doing a race is not the end of the world. It's exercise, it's swimming, biking, running. That's it. I don't have a serious life threatening illness, I am not in the middle of a war zone, or in any other atrocious situation some people have.
But- to me it isn't just exercise. It's an expression and something I put a hell of a lot of time and energy into. Everything that is me goes into my training, and on that day is when it all comes together, and I stretch my limits just a little bit more. Training is also the one time when my mind is completely clear of all the other day to day crap that life brings our way. It is a very important part of my life.
As I retired to bed I received a message from my coach, asking me of my decision. I answered, saying I would do the race but also said about my reservations. He asked me if I wanted his advice. I knew before he even answered what he was going to say.
When I got the message, reading the bit that said ''deep down you know what is right'', was the most difficult bit. Because deep down of course I knew what was right, doing this race in the state I was in would be complete madness, and I would risk my injuries, my general health, the Outlaw, and even not finishing in the first place. Silent tears streamed from my eyes as I lay there, because I realised I wouldn't be starting the event I had entered 6 months earlier.
RACE DAY
Alarm went off at 5am. I went into the kitchen and silently got my breakfast, letting my friends prepare, and then I broke the news that I wouldn't be competing.
Another of the group had pulled out with a chest infection, so I wouldn't be alone all day.
We headed to transition for last minute checks to the bikes, and then to the swim start. Females went first, there were only 400 women out of 2,500 participants.
Seeing my three friends off was nerve racking to say the least, it was kind of like what I imagine sending your kids off to school on their first day is like!! Are they ok, have they got their hats, have they lubed up to prevent wetsuit chafe, hope they won't get kicked in the chops, etc
Whilst we were stood waiting for their waves to go I saw a man who had been warming up in the water who I recognised. He looked so familiar, but I couldn't place him. He stood right next to me chatting to his friend, then suddenly ran off. When he appeared again later followed by a camera crew I realised he was a pro triathlete, it was a magazine I recognised him from, and he went on to win the race in a most impressive 3.58. Quite a surreal moment. I mean, you don't go to a football match and stand next to David Beckham do you?!
When you exit the water you aren't thinking straight. You're giddy, nervous, and a bit all over the place. That may explain why one of our group whipped off her hat and goggles, and for some reason only known to her with some force she threw them at us to catch but missed and smacked the German woman standing next to us full in the face with them instead. I couldn't help giggling my head off, as did the American woman at the side of us, but German lady was not a happy bunny, and handed them back in disgust, before tutting loudly. She wiped the hat water off her face and flicked it to the floor whilst staring, which made me laugh even harder.
There were loads of people watching. I noticed a little girl building sandcastles on the beach wearing a pink t.shirt that said ''When I grow up I want to be an Ironman''. Arhh. Gotta love their marketing effect again, but still so much nicer than a WAG or a pop star or a wannabe whatever like most kids nowadays.
With the swim out of the way, we watched the pros come in, with me sitting by a psychotic yorkshire terrier who did NOT like bikes, then went to get a drink, and more importantly, get out of the sun. It was so hot. And getting hotter by the minute.
When we came back out the first wave of people were coming out onto the run.
Watching I was quite taken aback at the variety of people. Different ages, shapes, sizes, appearances are very deceiving. Run styles are fascinating to watch. Some people plod, some people tiptoe, some people flap their arms. I saw one man who looked like a trotting horse. Seriously.
Whilst we were having lunch we saw each of our group pass, which was reassuring. They all looked good, well, as good as you can do under those circumstances. They didn't look ill, thats what I mean. I screamed and whooped at the top of my voice forgetting I was in a restaurant. I didn't care though, I wanted them to know we were there for them, and they were doing well.
When we went to the finish line to wait there were some truly heart warming scenes. People crying. Running over the line with their kids. People who were injured (from falling off bike I assume) hobbling down the finish chute. One person after another, arms raised, sometimes a sprint finish, sometimes a barely a walk. Some waving their countries flag, some yelling, happy to have a PB, some high fiving, some not speaking or even looking up, so focussed on getting to that line. People united in pain, in pushing to the limit, in an achievement that was once only a dream, but now a reality. I was completely overwhelmed by it all.
When I saw each of my friends come round that corner my eyes filled with tears. It's an indescribable moment. Maybe because I know how hard they have trained, how much they have worked for it, and how determined they all are. I gave each of them a huge hug, and told them I was proud of them. And I am. I'm privileged to know such determined and focussed people. That day was not easy. They trained for months in some horrendous weather, (ice, wind, rain, I remember it well) fought through illness, and finally got here and swum in the sea for 1.2 miles, cycled up a huge mountain with a hairpin descent for 56 miles, then did a 13.1 mile run in a temperature of 31c. That is pretty inspiring. They are inspiring.
After getting back to the villa we had a lovely dinner, then I went off to have a shower. I did feel bad, I felt like a complete failure for an hour or two, but I didn't want to show that to them, I wanted them to have their moment of glory, it was well deserved. I gave myself some space, texted some friends from home, and then went back out and enjoyed the evening and the race day stories.
Day 6.
Day 6 was spent relaxing and recovering. I put my wetsuit on again and did a few lengths, shoulder twinged a bit but nothing too awful. Almost everyone staying the villa had some kind of illness. Chest infection, cold, cough, sore throat. I became completely paranoid that I would get it. After all this injury the last thing I need would to be out for weeks with that. I kept putting my hand over my face!
Day 7.
Decided to try a bike ride today. I cycled the mountain on the bike course. Up, not down. When I got to the top I just turned and came back the same way. One reason being I was worried I'd get lost, and the other is because a hairpin descent would be too much pressure on my shoulder. I told myself I'd stop if it started to hurt, but it was ok. It was my knees that hurt, not my arms! Got to get a granny gear on the TT bike if I'm going up mountains!! The view was stunning. So was the descent, if a bit scary!
I made the right choice not doing the race. It would have put waaay too much pressure on my arms. I was also shattered when I got back, and had only done 40 miles. I'm better than last week, but still not 100%. I dread to think what state I'd be in if I'd done it.
Day 8.
So, back at home.. what are my thoughts now? My shoulder is not painful as such, but is still twinging if I apply too much pressure. It is on my mind a lot, especially now the Outlaw is only weeks away. My shins are still splintered. I cannot run. But... I will do what I need to do to get there. And part of doing that means respecting my body and healing. I was gutted to miss out on 70.3, and emotional turmoil is putting it lightly! It was almost impossible to know what to do for the best. And it's hard to feel like you are giving up something you have worked for. But giving up isn't what I did. The Outlaw is my goal for this year, and even if I don't recover in time to do it, or things don't go as planned, at least I will know that I have done everything within my power to make it a possibility. Anything beyond that is out of my control. I'll just have to see. But I will get there.
Whatever it takes.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
A moment of despair...
It's half past midnight and I'm still awake.. with a dull aching sensation in my right shoulder. It's accompanied by a sharp pain that makes me wince whenever I lift my arm.
I recognise this pain, because 6 years ago I tore my rotator cuff in the opposite shoulder. It's painful, it's horrible, and it takes months to heal. I had to have a lot of physio, wear a shoulder support and it left that arm much weaker than the other.
Next weekend I am supposed to do Majorca 70.3.
I now can't run or swim.
Months and months of hard work.....
I just want to cry.
I recognise this pain, because 6 years ago I tore my rotator cuff in the opposite shoulder. It's painful, it's horrible, and it takes months to heal. I had to have a lot of physio, wear a shoulder support and it left that arm much weaker than the other.
Next weekend I am supposed to do Majorca 70.3.
I now can't run or swim.
Months and months of hard work.....
I just want to cry.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Swimming Has Never Been So Annoying!!!
Warning- Rant coming up!!
Went to the gym this afternoon. I don't like gyms, I find them really claustrophobic, and I'd much rather be outside. I only usually use the weights machines and go to them because I know that doing a core strength session at home just isn't going to happen. When I'm paying a fee I know I'll get my backside down there!!
Anyway, after that I decided to do the unthinkable and brave the public swim session as well. I thought I could get my set done today and then wouldn't have to get up at ridiculous o'clock on Friday morning to squeeze it in.
As it hit 6.30 everyone swarmed the pool, pushed off and started their swim. After 15 minutes I had to get out. Why? Lets see....
1st Annoyance- WHY don't people stick to lanes? Why? Why do they swim horizontal, diagonal, and in a frigging zig zag formation?! GO up and down, in a straight line! STTTTTRAIGHT LINE!! When swimming crawl you can't see directly in front of you, and I don't want to be booted by your breaststroke leg kick and your flailing arms every time I pass thank you, nor do I want to have to swim round, over, under and everywhere else to get out of your way! And I move over to the next lane, then hey ho, five minutes later, there you are again, directly in front! MOVE! Pick a lane, preferably the one furthest from me, and stay in it!!
2nd Annoyance- Girls, you are in the pool in Nottingham, NOT on a beach in Ibiza. Please wear something decent. A white bikini does not count within that criteria, nor does thong type swimsuits. And holding your head so high out of the water that you're risking a neck injury so not to smudge your make up? Silly. So is squealing every time you get splashed. It's water. You tend to get wet.
3rd Annoyance- Ethel and Mabel, the two old dears gently breaststroking along with their perms and still with glasses on, side by side. Now, I'd love to talk to you about the latest episode of columbo or the scarf you're knitting, but not in the pool. See Annoyance 1 for reference. Please get out of the way.
4th Annoyance- The ones who try and race you. ''Look at me, I'm fast''!! Yes, you can push past me, blind me with all the water spraying everywhere and disrupt my stroke just to swim for 25m at which point you turn purple, pant, and grind to a halt, only to do it all again a length later. I don't care whether you can swim faster than me, or actually swim at all, just get out of the way.
5th Annoyance- Why do you have to stand RIGHT at the place in which I need to turn? You can see I'm swimming, You can see I'm probably not going to stop and have a chat. So therefore, as you are stopping to have a chat, could you move to one side? Maybe into the huge free space on the other side of you? It's really not nice to have to swim inbetween you and your friend, and I'm sure it puts you off talking as well.
6th Annoyance- Just married/Just met/One night stand/Whatever canoodling in the corner- It's a pool, not a brothel. Get a room, and get out of my way.
7th Annoyance- Women doing your breaststroke in cosy little social groups, yes swimming is relaxing, it's great, and I'm sure it's lovely to chit chat to all your mates. It's a wonderful form of exercise. But that is exactly what it is- exercise. And there are four different strokes, the one I use is crawl. Please do not shoot dirty looks in my direction, or tut to your friend about the fact that I splashed your hair and face on the way past. I am there to swim. Yes, swim! Imagine that in a pool!!
8th Annoyance- People who do that weird breaststroke thing where they just put their mouths in the water, and make a noise like ''bububuububbubrrrrrrrr'' and blow bubbles with each stroke. Why? WHY? Aargh, it drives me insane, I honestly get the urge to dunk them every time I go past!! Head out of the water, or do it properly and get your head completely in!! In or out, not inbetween with just your mouth you weirdos!!
9th Annoyance- Gormy Lifeguards.
10th Annoyance- Gormy Lifeguards not doing their job and telling the brats divebombing right next to my head to pack it in.
I could go on. I really could... Looks like I'll be getting up at ridiculous O'clock on Friday after all.
Went to the gym this afternoon. I don't like gyms, I find them really claustrophobic, and I'd much rather be outside. I only usually use the weights machines and go to them because I know that doing a core strength session at home just isn't going to happen. When I'm paying a fee I know I'll get my backside down there!!
Anyway, after that I decided to do the unthinkable and brave the public swim session as well. I thought I could get my set done today and then wouldn't have to get up at ridiculous o'clock on Friday morning to squeeze it in.
As it hit 6.30 everyone swarmed the pool, pushed off and started their swim. After 15 minutes I had to get out. Why? Lets see....
1st Annoyance- WHY don't people stick to lanes? Why? Why do they swim horizontal, diagonal, and in a frigging zig zag formation?! GO up and down, in a straight line! STTTTTRAIGHT LINE!! When swimming crawl you can't see directly in front of you, and I don't want to be booted by your breaststroke leg kick and your flailing arms every time I pass thank you, nor do I want to have to swim round, over, under and everywhere else to get out of your way! And I move over to the next lane, then hey ho, five minutes later, there you are again, directly in front! MOVE! Pick a lane, preferably the one furthest from me, and stay in it!!
2nd Annoyance- Girls, you are in the pool in Nottingham, NOT on a beach in Ibiza. Please wear something decent. A white bikini does not count within that criteria, nor does thong type swimsuits. And holding your head so high out of the water that you're risking a neck injury so not to smudge your make up? Silly. So is squealing every time you get splashed. It's water. You tend to get wet.
3rd Annoyance- Ethel and Mabel, the two old dears gently breaststroking along with their perms and still with glasses on, side by side. Now, I'd love to talk to you about the latest episode of columbo or the scarf you're knitting, but not in the pool. See Annoyance 1 for reference. Please get out of the way.
4th Annoyance- The ones who try and race you. ''Look at me, I'm fast''!! Yes, you can push past me, blind me with all the water spraying everywhere and disrupt my stroke just to swim for 25m at which point you turn purple, pant, and grind to a halt, only to do it all again a length later. I don't care whether you can swim faster than me, or actually swim at all, just get out of the way.
5th Annoyance- Why do you have to stand RIGHT at the place in which I need to turn? You can see I'm swimming, You can see I'm probably not going to stop and have a chat. So therefore, as you are stopping to have a chat, could you move to one side? Maybe into the huge free space on the other side of you? It's really not nice to have to swim inbetween you and your friend, and I'm sure it puts you off talking as well.
6th Annoyance- Just married/Just met/One night stand/Whatever canoodling in the corner- It's a pool, not a brothel. Get a room, and get out of my way.
7th Annoyance- Women doing your breaststroke in cosy little social groups, yes swimming is relaxing, it's great, and I'm sure it's lovely to chit chat to all your mates. It's a wonderful form of exercise. But that is exactly what it is- exercise. And there are four different strokes, the one I use is crawl. Please do not shoot dirty looks in my direction, or tut to your friend about the fact that I splashed your hair and face on the way past. I am there to swim. Yes, swim! Imagine that in a pool!!
8th Annoyance- People who do that weird breaststroke thing where they just put their mouths in the water, and make a noise like ''bububuububbubrrrrrrrr'' and blow bubbles with each stroke. Why? WHY? Aargh, it drives me insane, I honestly get the urge to dunk them every time I go past!! Head out of the water, or do it properly and get your head completely in!! In or out, not inbetween with just your mouth you weirdos!!
9th Annoyance- Gormy Lifeguards.
10th Annoyance- Gormy Lifeguards not doing their job and telling the brats divebombing right next to my head to pack it in.
I could go on. I really could... Looks like I'll be getting up at ridiculous O'clock on Friday after all.
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...
Just got back from Swimathon. Did 5k challenge swim, (200 lengths) but to be honest it was more about me covering the distance for the Outlaw. (3.8k, 152 lengths)
I did 3.8k in 1 hour 15, as I wanted, and felt fresh as a daisy. Wasn't tired, wasn't out of breath. I don't know how long the whole thing took me, because after that I wasn't really concerned. I'd guess at about 1.45. Even though I am 29 next month, I was still thrilled with my medal. Getting a medal is just great, I love it much more than a t.shirt that ends up being worn to bed or to do DIY. Not that I do any DIY, but if I did I'd wear it for that.
The swim was good actually, didn't get as bored as I thought I would, and I was glad there was only 2 people in my lane, me and another man who I swear was Duncan Goodhew in disguise, he finished in just over an hour!! I had to keep stopping to let him pass. But then I got fed up of stopping, so because there was only two of us we had one side of the lane each.
Unfortunately I forgot my earplugs, which I never swim without, so halfway my ears started getting quite painful, and ended up making a weird kind of ringing noise.
I'd borrowed some anti fog spray from my friend which worked a treat on goggles, but they leaked. Not too badly, but enough over that distance to irritate my eyes. Everything looks cloudy now and they feel like they're full of grit. I've had a constant battle with goggles, can't seem to find any that don't leak or squash my head!
Also got bunged up nose from the chlorine, and been having several sneezing fits since I got home. Swimathon sent a message asking for uploaded pictures, but I was like nooo thank you, I look a right state now!
Feel really happy that I've proved to myself I can do the swim distance. I thought back to 18 months ago when I could barely do a length.
So, can do the cycle, can do the swim, the only unknown is the run...
Training been a bit lax this week... Monday and Tuesday I felt really tired and sore, probably from the long ride on Sunday.
Life in general got in the way for the rest of the week, I've just been stupidly busy. Managed two swims and one half hearted gym session where I was so knackered I left after 20 minutes.
Friday I woke up sneezing and felt like I was getting a cold, but my resting heart rate was still at 49, (usually goes higher before I'm ill) so was hoping to fight it off before it properly took hold. So far so good.
Today was meant to be a 6.30 bike, followed by a 1.30 run. Was actually really looking forward to it.
(8 hours continuous training and I look forward to it.. need to get a life)
But due to the appalling British weather that was changed round. The bike just isn't happening and I went for a run yesterday.
After 20 minutes run/walk I felt a familiar pain in my shins... was tempted to carry on, but I didn't.
When I got home I spoke to my coach. We knew it was a possibility I would get injured again, because to be honest I haven't really healed! Once again I'm faced with the dilemma of either opting to pull out and defer to next year, just do the bike leg for a relay or continuing the full thing as planned and walking the whole marathon. If this is what I'm going to do then there would be a plan of not running at all until the day. Risky, and psychologically challenging to say the least. But.. at least I'd have the chance of finishing, whereas now if I keep running I could make it much worse.
I'm raising money for Nottingham Hospitals now too, a cause that means a lot. I don't usually do the whole fundraising thing, but I thought as this is my first iron tri I'd try and make it worthwhile. I won't be fundraising again. Therefore my plan is to just get through it, walk the marathon if needs be, and just get over the line before the cutoff time. It's really annoying because I know I could do better, but plenty of time for that in the future maybe.
(Haven't even done this one and I'm already thinking of the next one!!!)
Back to the gym, core work, physio and aqua jogging.
Mallorca 70.3 looms.. it's only 12 days away! Hopefully I'll get a bit of an idea from that how I will feel.
I'm looking forward to the sunshine and the holiday bit more than anything! Although I do hope I do well, I am treating it as a test run for the big one.
It's not far away now!! Everything feels pre or post Outlaw. When writing things down in my diary I think, ''ooh, that's so and so days before the race'', or ''It'll all be over before this''.
One part of me is excited, one part of me is terrified.
I did 3.8k in 1 hour 15, as I wanted, and felt fresh as a daisy. Wasn't tired, wasn't out of breath. I don't know how long the whole thing took me, because after that I wasn't really concerned. I'd guess at about 1.45. Even though I am 29 next month, I was still thrilled with my medal. Getting a medal is just great, I love it much more than a t.shirt that ends up being worn to bed or to do DIY. Not that I do any DIY, but if I did I'd wear it for that.
The swim was good actually, didn't get as bored as I thought I would, and I was glad there was only 2 people in my lane, me and another man who I swear was Duncan Goodhew in disguise, he finished in just over an hour!! I had to keep stopping to let him pass. But then I got fed up of stopping, so because there was only two of us we had one side of the lane each.
Unfortunately I forgot my earplugs, which I never swim without, so halfway my ears started getting quite painful, and ended up making a weird kind of ringing noise.
I'd borrowed some anti fog spray from my friend which worked a treat on goggles, but they leaked. Not too badly, but enough over that distance to irritate my eyes. Everything looks cloudy now and they feel like they're full of grit. I've had a constant battle with goggles, can't seem to find any that don't leak or squash my head!
Also got bunged up nose from the chlorine, and been having several sneezing fits since I got home. Swimathon sent a message asking for uploaded pictures, but I was like nooo thank you, I look a right state now!
Feel really happy that I've proved to myself I can do the swim distance. I thought back to 18 months ago when I could barely do a length.
So, can do the cycle, can do the swim, the only unknown is the run...
Training been a bit lax this week... Monday and Tuesday I felt really tired and sore, probably from the long ride on Sunday.
Life in general got in the way for the rest of the week, I've just been stupidly busy. Managed two swims and one half hearted gym session where I was so knackered I left after 20 minutes.
Friday I woke up sneezing and felt like I was getting a cold, but my resting heart rate was still at 49, (usually goes higher before I'm ill) so was hoping to fight it off before it properly took hold. So far so good.
Today was meant to be a 6.30 bike, followed by a 1.30 run. Was actually really looking forward to it.
(8 hours continuous training and I look forward to it.. need to get a life)
But due to the appalling British weather that was changed round. The bike just isn't happening and I went for a run yesterday.
After 20 minutes run/walk I felt a familiar pain in my shins... was tempted to carry on, but I didn't.
When I got home I spoke to my coach. We knew it was a possibility I would get injured again, because to be honest I haven't really healed! Once again I'm faced with the dilemma of either opting to pull out and defer to next year, just do the bike leg for a relay or continuing the full thing as planned and walking the whole marathon. If this is what I'm going to do then there would be a plan of not running at all until the day. Risky, and psychologically challenging to say the least. But.. at least I'd have the chance of finishing, whereas now if I keep running I could make it much worse.
I'm raising money for Nottingham Hospitals now too, a cause that means a lot. I don't usually do the whole fundraising thing, but I thought as this is my first iron tri I'd try and make it worthwhile. I won't be fundraising again. Therefore my plan is to just get through it, walk the marathon if needs be, and just get over the line before the cutoff time. It's really annoying because I know I could do better, but plenty of time for that in the future maybe.
(Haven't even done this one and I'm already thinking of the next one!!!)
Back to the gym, core work, physio and aqua jogging.
Mallorca 70.3 looms.. it's only 12 days away! Hopefully I'll get a bit of an idea from that how I will feel.
I'm looking forward to the sunshine and the holiday bit more than anything! Although I do hope I do well, I am treating it as a test run for the big one.
It's not far away now!! Everything feels pre or post Outlaw. When writing things down in my diary I think, ''ooh, that's so and so days before the race'', or ''It'll all be over before this''.
One part of me is excited, one part of me is terrified.
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