Yesterday was the Outlaw Celebration Party.. and the launch of a project I dreamt up and began organising back in April. It was top secret until the launch last night. The Karen Green Foundation Charity Calendar, ''ABSOLUTE-LY STARKERS''
Karen Green was the wife of Mick Green, who owns a specialist racing bike shop in Nottingham. She had lukaemia. After a long battle she died in July 2011. Mick set up the foundation in her name to provide help and support for people suffering the same condition, their families, and to fund research.
I have a lot of respect for Mick, I think what he did was a true show of his strength of charecter. He took an awful, heart breaking situation, and turned it into something positive that will help so many people. Along with that he continued to run his business and look after his two young children. He also trained and completed the Outlaw this year. All alongside dealing with his own grief. What an incredible year, and what an incredible man.
I began thinking of ways to help. I came up with the idea of a charity calendar. Obviously the catch would be that we were going to be in the nuddy. I began gathering participants, I wanted to convey the diverse nature of all who compete in triathlon, so asked women of all ages, shapes and sizes. They were all fantastic, and despite initial reservations they all jumped straight in!
I was really nervous last night before I had to get up on the stage to introduce it.. I'm not quite sure why! Maybe I thought people wouldn't like it, or would think it was an awful idea. But it was the opposite! People really seemed to enjoy it, and walked round looking at the pictures, and many came and spoke to me. People even asked for us to sign the calendars, it was very surreal!!
I suppose people wouldn't think I was a shy person, I certainly don't look that way, or act it sometimes. But I do feel I'm more of an introvert, I'm happiest curled up with my dog and a book on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket! Yes, seriously!
I am also THE most prudish person ever. I won't even wear a bikini. I'm the one who sees people out in summer and tuts because they aren't wearing enough clothing for my liking. So quite how that goes with someone who gets their clothes off and has pictures took I don't know. I obviously have a split personality!!
I think I was focussing on the greater good, and apart from that I had a vision of what it would be like when it was finished, and I knew it would be great.
I had a moment last night where I sat watching proceedings and reflecting. In 2011 there were three of us connected to the club who lost people, all in weeks of each other. My nan was first, then Karen, then a club member called John died. The year has flown by, but also dragged.
The strangest thing for me to reflect on is that without nans death, the likelihood is I wouldn't have the life and friends I have now. That is what led me to entering the outlaw, to beginning the training. It was my focus for grief, and gave me something to cling to when everything else made no sense.
And now that journey is over, the outlaw, the celebration, the calendar project. That particular focus is over. The first year of life without my mother is over... and there are many more years to come without her. The same as for Mick, facing years without Karen, and for John's partner, who carries on alone. That makes me so sad.. But day by day I can also see how I have moved through those awful few months, and have begun to get my life back on track. And to see others doing the same- it really gives me hope.
I'm not trying to be depressing, I'm just reflecting on how life can throw such adversity at us, and how it can seem so unfair, so wrong that good people suffer. But we adapt.. we get back up, and most importantly, move forward.
Athletes from the club who got sponsored for the outlaw raised £18,000 for the charity.
Last night the party raised £7,000.
The calendars are on sale for £10. Bargain.
To find out more about The Karen Green Foundation please go www.karengreenfoundation.co.uk
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Realisations from the experience of last year!
Already thinking about getting ready for next years' Outlaw. I feel I can go into it knowing a little bit more than I did when I last entered. I didn't have a clue what to expect, what I'd need to do, how much it takes out of you. I know I didn't do the race, but I did do almost all the training required. I've learned a lot from the past 10 months.
1. Saving up and paying £100 for Assos shorts is definitely something worth saving up for. 6 hour rides are painful enough- don't make it worse. A little extra care for my lady bits goes a looooong way.
2. My diet is appalling. If I want to do this triathlon thing I need to seriously get a grip with it. Chocolate with strawberry filling does not count as one of my five a day. Could really do with losing some pork from my hips as well.
3. My inhibitions have almost completely disappeared. Not sure if this is good or bad.This time last year I just would not have gone for a wee outside. During the bike I stopped 3 times, and didn't particularly care about spitting either. Something else I'd never do! Also, it is quite worrying that I am beginning to understand why people just stand up and ''let the golden flow go''. It is annoying to have to keep stopping. If I'm thinking this now, it can only mean a slippery slope towards actually doing it next year!! (On the run at least, I don't think I could bring myself to wee in my expensive shorts and on my pretty bike)
4. I must embrace the shitty English weather. I can either moan and miss half my sessions, or get mudguards, rubber overshoes, and a goretex jacket/hat/bodysuit/balaclava. I'm not going to be moving to the maldives anytime soon, nor does global warming appear to be affecting us, so time to work with what I've got. Unfortunately that means embracing cold, wind and rain. And that's just in summer!!
5. My 'everything must match' philosophy works quite well. I had so many comments on my bright orange calf guards! People probably thought they were horrendous, but I don't care. The future's bright..
6. I'm crap on hills. Must practice.
7. I now have a massive endurance base and didn't even feel tired after the bike, but I am way too slow. Aside from 'David with the disc wheel', I hardly passed anyone else! Apart from in the last 10 miles when I felt quite good. Must practice.
8. Must do my physio exercises. There isn't a magic pill that will take my injuries away, it's time and patience. And physio!!
9. I will be hungry a lot of the time.
10. And tired.
11. And won't have a social life. Not outside of other strange people who get up at 7am on a Sunday to do a brick session anyway.
12. Must embrace public swim sessions. Horrendous, but got to be done.
13. I've only changed a tyre once. Thankfully on sunday I didn't get a puncture, but I must practice. It's likely to happen at some point. Even though I have sold my soul to the Puncture Demon, he's a greedy bugger and will make me suffer at some point.
14. I know myself really well now. I know what heart zone I'm in without even looking at my watch. I know when I should be in a different gear. I have so much more mental focus. I hardly ever even notice the scenery now!!
15. It will be worth it 100%. I can't wait. Bring it on!!!
I've entered the Vitruvian in September, a race I've always wanted to do. The reason? Is it the atmosphere, the stunning scenery, the challenge? No. It's because I adore Da Vinci, and his artwork, and the t.shirt has the huge Vitruvian man on it. Ever since I saw someone walking round with one I knew I had to do it! I've got my priorities right.
I am beginning a run/walk programme tomorrow again, so everything is crossed that this time I am fully healed and ready to go. Even if not, I can still walk a half marathon. I am just aiming to finish. (And get the t.shirt!!)
I've had a whole week off after last Sunday, and a much needed rest. I'm starting to feel better again, more energy and looking forward to getting back to it. Still not 100%, but I think that will take time yet. And physio!!!
All in all, ready to go again, and looking forward to September and my first tri of the year!!
1. Saving up and paying £100 for Assos shorts is definitely something worth saving up for. 6 hour rides are painful enough- don't make it worse. A little extra care for my lady bits goes a looooong way.
2. My diet is appalling. If I want to do this triathlon thing I need to seriously get a grip with it. Chocolate with strawberry filling does not count as one of my five a day. Could really do with losing some pork from my hips as well.
3. My inhibitions have almost completely disappeared. Not sure if this is good or bad.This time last year I just would not have gone for a wee outside. During the bike I stopped 3 times, and didn't particularly care about spitting either. Something else I'd never do! Also, it is quite worrying that I am beginning to understand why people just stand up and ''let the golden flow go''. It is annoying to have to keep stopping. If I'm thinking this now, it can only mean a slippery slope towards actually doing it next year!! (On the run at least, I don't think I could bring myself to wee in my expensive shorts and on my pretty bike)
4. I must embrace the shitty English weather. I can either moan and miss half my sessions, or get mudguards, rubber overshoes, and a goretex jacket/hat/bodysuit/balaclava. I'm not going to be moving to the maldives anytime soon, nor does global warming appear to be affecting us, so time to work with what I've got. Unfortunately that means embracing cold, wind and rain. And that's just in summer!!
5. My 'everything must match' philosophy works quite well. I had so many comments on my bright orange calf guards! People probably thought they were horrendous, but I don't care. The future's bright..
6. I'm crap on hills. Must practice.
7. I now have a massive endurance base and didn't even feel tired after the bike, but I am way too slow. Aside from 'David with the disc wheel', I hardly passed anyone else! Apart from in the last 10 miles when I felt quite good. Must practice.
8. Must do my physio exercises. There isn't a magic pill that will take my injuries away, it's time and patience. And physio!!
9. I will be hungry a lot of the time.
10. And tired.
11. And won't have a social life. Not outside of other strange people who get up at 7am on a Sunday to do a brick session anyway.
12. Must embrace public swim sessions. Horrendous, but got to be done.
13. I've only changed a tyre once. Thankfully on sunday I didn't get a puncture, but I must practice. It's likely to happen at some point. Even though I have sold my soul to the Puncture Demon, he's a greedy bugger and will make me suffer at some point.
14. I know myself really well now. I know what heart zone I'm in without even looking at my watch. I know when I should be in a different gear. I have so much more mental focus. I hardly ever even notice the scenery now!!
15. It will be worth it 100%. I can't wait. Bring it on!!!
I've entered the Vitruvian in September, a race I've always wanted to do. The reason? Is it the atmosphere, the stunning scenery, the challenge? No. It's because I adore Da Vinci, and his artwork, and the t.shirt has the huge Vitruvian man on it. Ever since I saw someone walking round with one I knew I had to do it! I've got my priorities right.
I am beginning a run/walk programme tomorrow again, so everything is crossed that this time I am fully healed and ready to go. Even if not, I can still walk a half marathon. I am just aiming to finish. (And get the t.shirt!!)
I've had a whole week off after last Sunday, and a much needed rest. I'm starting to feel better again, more energy and looking forward to getting back to it. Still not 100%, but I think that will take time yet. And physio!!!
All in all, ready to go again, and looking forward to September and my first tri of the year!!
Monday, 2 July 2012
D. Day! The Outlaw, 1st July 2012
For some ridiculous reason even after such a long day yesterday and an even longer bike ride, I woke up at 6.15am this morning, so thought I'd do something useful and write this.
Sooo, after waiting 7 long months it was finally here! The night before I got all my stuff ready, and planned to get up at 4.30am, have breakfast and take my time and leave at 5.15am to get there to watch the start. Because of my atrocious sleeping patterns I was obsessed with not waking up on time or not hearing the alarm, so I kept checking it. I woke naturally at 4.20. Then the next thing I remember was jumping up with a start, looking at my phone and seeing it was 5.15. Hence a mad rush and no breakfast. Typical.
I arrived at the start and loaded up my bike, then went to watch the swim. The lake was (unusually) flat, and the sun had risen. It was a lovely sight. I had a pang of sadness that I wasn't there. The horn sounded and the washing machine of arms and legs commenced.
The swimmer for our relay team had told me to expect him around 1.15 or 1.20, so I was quite surprised when he popped up much sooner than that! Almost 15 minutes sooner!
He passed the chip over and I was off. A camera was following me, so getting the bike and holding my top with all the gels in, I tried desperately to look like I knew what I was doing, and concentrated on smiling and not falling over.
Going round to the opposite part of the lake, it was straight into a headwind, but I didn't worry too much, because it's always windy round there. 'It'll be ok once I'm on the road' I thought. HA! If only I knew!
The first few miles were generally uneventful, I had a lot of people passing me. It was rather disheartening at times, I felt really crap! I was in a bit of a thing with a man on a bike with a disc wheel called David, we kept passing each other. I was better on the flat and going up undulations, and he was better on the rough bits and into the headwind. I saw a few people from my club as they went by which was nice, I had expected that, and it gave me something else to focus on. On the north loop at one point, I don't know if it was the road surface or the wind or uphill or what, but I couldn't get over 13mph. I just felt shocking, like the energy had been sucked out of me. My quads cramped everytime I tried to go faster. Obviously this was quite concerning, I wasn't even close to halfway yet! I haven't been 100% for a while now, and at that point I thought it was coming back to bite me. Eventually though I did start to feel better, but I did find the north loop generally quite difficult. The wind was relentless.
Onto the south loops I hoped the wind wouldn't be as bad. Mm. Unfortunately not. It was, and it didn't stop. At mile 50 I took ibuprofen, because my quads and my shoulder had completely seized up, I think I was expending so much extra energy just fighting the wind that it was having an effect. I rode the bike harder than I ever did in training, because obviously in training I had to imagine I was running a marathon after. I also spent a lot of time on the aerobars, again something I hadn't really done, because of my arm. It was so maddening that all the effort I was putting in was producing exactly the same result as if I was ambling along not trying! Bloody weather!!!
Anyway, I'm not going to even mention the wind again now, it just makes me annoyed. I'll mention my toilet habits instead! I had to go 3 times for a wee!! The first time I had just found a nice little enclosed bit, when someone from the club came past, saw me and shouted ''No one will see you go for a wee there!'' I started laughing, was quite impressed with the wit. It's a big thing for me to get my bum out, it just doesn't happen! All the training rides I think I've been once. That was it. By the third wee though I was fed up of it, I didn't want to stop! And to squat is bad enough, but to squat with sore jelly legs?! Awful! Had proper knee tremble! And when you try to have a quick wee and it just goes on forever.... and you try to push it out quicker and think, 'come on'!! but the wee will insist it takes it's time, and it's in there laughing to itself, saying 'I haven't finished yet, kindly do not rush me' and the knees are just worried they won't hold you up anymore, so they start to protest too.
The third time I stopped I went in a field that had these plant things all in rows. I don't know what they were, but if you're a farmer and you find I gave your turnips or whatever some extra fermentation, I'm really sorry! A girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do...
I had to take more ibuprofen at mile 87, just as I approached two people jumping up and down shouting my name. It shows what state of mind you can go into. I have been in her car numerous times. Didn't recognise it. I train with her week in, week out, but really didn't know who she was. I was so out of it and fuzzy by then that all focus is put into keeping going. I finally realised who they were, and smiled and waved. It crossed my mind as I passed that I should have asked for a lift!
As I came to the end of the ride it started throwing it down. Nice. I was so glad just to get back, pass the chip on and go and get some food.
After eating I went to go to the club tent to get my bag and go and have a shower. As I approached some steps I thought, 'This may be slippy with cycling shoes on'. I was right, it was slippy, and I went straight down, straight onto my hip bone, elbow, and head. luckily I had my helmet loosely on. It reeeeeeally f*****g hurt. And I said exactly that to the two people who came to help me. Today I have a huge graze and bruise, and I can't bend my leg. I took my cycling shoes off after that.
After my shower I went back to the tent to cheer on the others on the course. I did wish several times that I had just done it, because I felt ok, I wasn't particularly tired or anything, I felt I could have kept going. But, I suppose in hindsight it's always easy to say that, and a marathon is a long way. I'd also had to take painkillers just to get through the bike, not a great sign.
I have to say it was a lovely day, a lovely experience, and we still got a medal and a t.shirt for doing the relay, which I was thrilled with. Always love a medal!! I wish I had got my moment, but it will come.
It was lovely to see everyone I knew who had entered finish, and there was just a sense of camaraderie and support, of people really coming together. It was great to be there and see the culmination of months and months of hard work, sacrifice and the pursuit of the ultimate triathlon challenge. Not many people would dream of doing it. A man on the bike said to me as he passed, ''Isn't it weird that most people have just got out of bed, and we're here doing this, why..."
I don't think there is a definitive reason why, for each has their own personal reasons, but at the heart of it, I think everyone who did the race yesterday, everyone who has said no to that extra beer, got up at 5am to do a 2 hour run in the cold before work, everyone who didn't give up, against all odds, I think at the heart of it, we all want to be the very best we can be. And we all are. Congratulations to every single person who completed yesterday. I am in awe of you all.
*dum, dum, dum,..* I look into the window, of my mind, reflections of the fears I know I've left behhhhhind, so I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending, I'm on my way, can't stop me now, you can do the saaaaaaame, yeah, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD......
Sooo, after waiting 7 long months it was finally here! The night before I got all my stuff ready, and planned to get up at 4.30am, have breakfast and take my time and leave at 5.15am to get there to watch the start. Because of my atrocious sleeping patterns I was obsessed with not waking up on time or not hearing the alarm, so I kept checking it. I woke naturally at 4.20. Then the next thing I remember was jumping up with a start, looking at my phone and seeing it was 5.15. Hence a mad rush and no breakfast. Typical.
I arrived at the start and loaded up my bike, then went to watch the swim. The lake was (unusually) flat, and the sun had risen. It was a lovely sight. I had a pang of sadness that I wasn't there. The horn sounded and the washing machine of arms and legs commenced.
The swimmer for our relay team had told me to expect him around 1.15 or 1.20, so I was quite surprised when he popped up much sooner than that! Almost 15 minutes sooner!
He passed the chip over and I was off. A camera was following me, so getting the bike and holding my top with all the gels in, I tried desperately to look like I knew what I was doing, and concentrated on smiling and not falling over.
Going round to the opposite part of the lake, it was straight into a headwind, but I didn't worry too much, because it's always windy round there. 'It'll be ok once I'm on the road' I thought. HA! If only I knew!
The first few miles were generally uneventful, I had a lot of people passing me. It was rather disheartening at times, I felt really crap! I was in a bit of a thing with a man on a bike with a disc wheel called David, we kept passing each other. I was better on the flat and going up undulations, and he was better on the rough bits and into the headwind. I saw a few people from my club as they went by which was nice, I had expected that, and it gave me something else to focus on. On the north loop at one point, I don't know if it was the road surface or the wind or uphill or what, but I couldn't get over 13mph. I just felt shocking, like the energy had been sucked out of me. My quads cramped everytime I tried to go faster. Obviously this was quite concerning, I wasn't even close to halfway yet! I haven't been 100% for a while now, and at that point I thought it was coming back to bite me. Eventually though I did start to feel better, but I did find the north loop generally quite difficult. The wind was relentless.
Onto the south loops I hoped the wind wouldn't be as bad. Mm. Unfortunately not. It was, and it didn't stop. At mile 50 I took ibuprofen, because my quads and my shoulder had completely seized up, I think I was expending so much extra energy just fighting the wind that it was having an effect. I rode the bike harder than I ever did in training, because obviously in training I had to imagine I was running a marathon after. I also spent a lot of time on the aerobars, again something I hadn't really done, because of my arm. It was so maddening that all the effort I was putting in was producing exactly the same result as if I was ambling along not trying! Bloody weather!!!
Anyway, I'm not going to even mention the wind again now, it just makes me annoyed. I'll mention my toilet habits instead! I had to go 3 times for a wee!! The first time I had just found a nice little enclosed bit, when someone from the club came past, saw me and shouted ''No one will see you go for a wee there!'' I started laughing, was quite impressed with the wit. It's a big thing for me to get my bum out, it just doesn't happen! All the training rides I think I've been once. That was it. By the third wee though I was fed up of it, I didn't want to stop! And to squat is bad enough, but to squat with sore jelly legs?! Awful! Had proper knee tremble! And when you try to have a quick wee and it just goes on forever.... and you try to push it out quicker and think, 'come on'!! but the wee will insist it takes it's time, and it's in there laughing to itself, saying 'I haven't finished yet, kindly do not rush me' and the knees are just worried they won't hold you up anymore, so they start to protest too.
The third time I stopped I went in a field that had these plant things all in rows. I don't know what they were, but if you're a farmer and you find I gave your turnips or whatever some extra fermentation, I'm really sorry! A girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do...
I had to take more ibuprofen at mile 87, just as I approached two people jumping up and down shouting my name. It shows what state of mind you can go into. I have been in her car numerous times. Didn't recognise it. I train with her week in, week out, but really didn't know who she was. I was so out of it and fuzzy by then that all focus is put into keeping going. I finally realised who they were, and smiled and waved. It crossed my mind as I passed that I should have asked for a lift!
As I came to the end of the ride it started throwing it down. Nice. I was so glad just to get back, pass the chip on and go and get some food.
After eating I went to go to the club tent to get my bag and go and have a shower. As I approached some steps I thought, 'This may be slippy with cycling shoes on'. I was right, it was slippy, and I went straight down, straight onto my hip bone, elbow, and head. luckily I had my helmet loosely on. It reeeeeeally f*****g hurt. And I said exactly that to the two people who came to help me. Today I have a huge graze and bruise, and I can't bend my leg. I took my cycling shoes off after that.
After my shower I went back to the tent to cheer on the others on the course. I did wish several times that I had just done it, because I felt ok, I wasn't particularly tired or anything, I felt I could have kept going. But, I suppose in hindsight it's always easy to say that, and a marathon is a long way. I'd also had to take painkillers just to get through the bike, not a great sign.
I have to say it was a lovely day, a lovely experience, and we still got a medal and a t.shirt for doing the relay, which I was thrilled with. Always love a medal!! I wish I had got my moment, but it will come.
It was lovely to see everyone I knew who had entered finish, and there was just a sense of camaraderie and support, of people really coming together. It was great to be there and see the culmination of months and months of hard work, sacrifice and the pursuit of the ultimate triathlon challenge. Not many people would dream of doing it. A man on the bike said to me as he passed, ''Isn't it weird that most people have just got out of bed, and we're here doing this, why..."
I don't think there is a definitive reason why, for each has their own personal reasons, but at the heart of it, I think everyone who did the race yesterday, everyone who has said no to that extra beer, got up at 5am to do a 2 hour run in the cold before work, everyone who didn't give up, against all odds, I think at the heart of it, we all want to be the very best we can be. And we all are. Congratulations to every single person who completed yesterday. I am in awe of you all.
*dum, dum, dum,..* I look into the window, of my mind, reflections of the fears I know I've left behhhhhind, so I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending, I'm on my way, can't stop me now, you can do the saaaaaaame, yeah, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD......
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