The past few weeks have been getting increasingly difficult, and I just don't feel I'd be able to complete the race anywhere near my full potential, if at all.
My shoulder is still hurting after every swim, the cycling is also getting difficult, and the run.. well, the run has been non existent because of my shin splints.
As well as my injuries unforeseen circumstances have gotten in the way over the past months, and particularly in the last few weeks, and I just feel exhausted, and desperately need the pressure to be off.
I could push through and just get through the day, and it is tempting, I've come so far and hate to quit anything, but to be honest my body and mind are tired, and I'd just be trying to squeeze energy out of seriously depleted stores.
I'm not going to go into how I feel, because to be honest at the moment I just don't want to think about it. I'm not sure what my next step will be. I am possibly going to do the bike leg of a relay team, and will possibly consider doing the Outlaw next year. But I don't know. For the moment, I just feel quite empty.
Swiftly moving on, I never usually name names, but for this post I will, as I would have done in my post Outlaw celebration blog. I want to take the chance to acknowledge all the people who have helped me get through the last 7 months of training. I wouldn't have got this far without any of them. Bear with me....
Thank you to Steve for all his hard work and commitment to my coaching and getting me this far. I know I've been a challenge. Character building I think it's called ;)
Thank you to all of my cycling buddies over the past seven months. (Yes, even you John ''puncture king'' Budworth, although you did nothing for my nerves with your pssssssss- ing!!)
For the support, the laughs, and the advice. I wouldn't have done it without you all. I'd have got bored after an hour and gone home :)
Thank you to the weather for being utterly shite and turning me into a true hardcore cyclist.
Thank you to Debbie for always completely believing in me, and reminding me of it. Love you.
Thank you to "It was a lovely day" Lisa, for being a friend, a constant support, and always making me laugh. You have proved you can be a princess in polka dots AND a 70.3 champion.
Andy ''Pocket Rocket'' Sharp. Hilarious. You never fail to entertain me. Thank you for being a great mate, and sharing your life philosophies along the way. Whistling constantly and getting lost just for fun amongst them.
Nic-olas and my Tubby Hubby for always telling me you think I'm crazy, but being there anyway. Mmwah
Massive appreciation and thanks to everyone at Absolute Triathlon Club in Nottingham for being so supportive and caring. I couldn't ask to be in a nicer club, what a brilliant group of people. I'm really proud to be a part of it. The future is bright... and most definitely orange :)
Matt- Your dedication to this challenge has been amazing, and you've come such a long way, well done. It isn't just the new swanky carbon bike that has made you go faster, it's your endless determination and hard work. And I really can see you in the GB age grouper kit one day....
Thank you to Jayne, for always listening.
Sorry to people I've neglected over the past months, declined to go out with or visit, because I've had to train.. I'll catch up with you all soon, before I probably begin the whole anti social ''I'm training'' thing all over again.
A huge and heartfelt thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far... I'm so very sorry I have not fulfilled what I intended. This makes me really really upset, because I wanted to do it for my Nan.
Mike- I was sceptical at first, but your guinness cake is definitely the way forward. Ami's cupcakes are also very close to my heart though... Bake off needed!!! :)
Pearly- Thanks for making my dinner after the long sessions when I was too knackered to move.
And Helen.. I know you don't do praise, but... without you and your endless support with just about everything I wouldn't have got this far. In fact, I wouldn't have even entered the event in the first place. You were the inspiration, and I'm privileged to have you as a friend. Thank you so much for everything. I just wish I was writing this with the finishers medal round my neck, because I wanted to make you just as proud of me as I am of you.
Finally thank you to all of you who have kept reading my posts all this time!! I have been really overwhelmed with all the lovely feedback and comments I've had, it's so nice to think that people actually take the time to do that and appreciate the ramblings of a wannabe triathlete. Thanks for sharing the journey, and I hope I've kept you entertained.
Best of luck to everyone competing on 1st July.......
..............It's all we can do. xxx
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