My Shins Have Splintered!!

I've got shin splints!! : (

As I've said many times before, running is the discipline I find most challenging. I say a lot how I don't want to run, but now I actually can't run. (and isn't it strange how the second you know you can't have something you begin to want it more than ever before?! If my legs said yay, lets go running right now, I'd be off like a shot) Pain in my legs, tender shins, and can't put weight evenly on my feet. I had this before a few years ago, ignored it and ended up with tendonitis so bad I couldn't put my shoes on. So I kind of recognised this pain, but it was nowhere near as bad, (I can still walk) so I decided to be in denial. No denying it now though. Went to the track session tonight, and couldn't do it. It felt like stepping on a knife everytime my foot hit the floor. Stopped and spoke to the coach, and he confirmed my fears when he pressed my leg and I nearly booted him in the face. Then he said the dreaded words..

''No running''.

'What? No running?! What do you mean?''

''I mean no running! If you carry on you could be out for months, shin splints are bad''.

*slightly concerned tone* ''None at all? What about next week, and my plan?! What about the run walk?''

''I'd really advise not to run at all next week. Possibly a few weeks, see how it goes''.

*I hope you're joking tone* ''What am I going to do?! Not even a bit? Not even a short one?''

-Coach just looks at me-

*High pitched squeak*  But... the marathon... the Outlaw... my sanity...''

So there it is.. I had to sit out like at school when you're sent to the bench for being crap, even though the teachers pretend it's because there are odd numbers in the teams.
Yesterday I had a 2 hour run planned, and started practising my run/walk method, which I'll be using in the marathon. I managed to cover eleven miles, and felt great when I'd done it, felt really positive about where the running was headed. I knew by following that plan I could get through it, and up to now I don't know if I have believed it!
And now...
I have a bag of peas on each shin, my legs elevated, and when I came in I straight away looked up shin splints. What for I don't know. I think I was hoping to find a miraculous site that said something like, 'It's only going to hurt today, don't worry, you can do your run on Monday' Unfortunately that is not what it said. It said what I already knew. Rest, ice, elevation. REST.

''I don't want to rest, I want to run! What am I going to do now?! I won't be able to do it will I! I 'll rest and then try and run again and I'll be crap and knackered and slow and just fall in a heap and then after all that what if it happens again?! What if I can't run at all?! All that time, all that effort, wasted! Wasted! I was doing so well, and now what if I won't be able to do it, I won't get my medal or my picture or that nice hoody...''  Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet The Sheriff... I'm doing my best to keep him quiet. As you can imagine he has a lot to say on the matter.

So for now, I will have to fill my running spaces with cycling or swimming, ice the legs, more strength and conditioning, and find a foam roller to roll my shins on. -What a barrel of laughs that will be!!-

I'm going to try not to be neurotic, but this has become such a huge part of my life it's difficult.. I can't do what I need to do, and it is frustrating!!

But then again, Kelly Holmes couldn't run at all for 8 months before Athens, and then she went out first (and second) time and won gold. So maybe I'll be ok : )